Comedic Corrosion
by fifimaxi
Summary: Sun Shang Xiang got sent to Wei to cement an alliance. Thing were supposed to be simple. Of course, cue illicit love octagons, treacherous schemes, and evil all-powerful Taoists. Now with ZOMBIES, a pairing poll, and MOAR WU PEOPLE SHOWING UP. xoxo
1. Chapter 1

A/N: So, yeah. My first fanfic posted here! Please be gentle and keep in mind that this is all in good fun, yeah? ^.^ Feel free to concrit me to oblivion, though! And send in pairing ideas!! I promise they'll be used eventually, or at least hinted at, no matter how crazy! Now, on with the show!

Zhen Ji knew, in her heart of hearts, that there had to be a logical reason as to why her husband was barefoot, missing his shirt and tied to a column with purple ribbons. There had to be. She hoped.

"My love... Explain." Her words came out a little bit too harshly, she knew. Cao Pi frowned.

"Untie me first, my sweet."

"I think you should satisfy my curiosity." She was doing her best to not jump to conclusions, really.

"Well, I just ... I ... It's Sima Yi's fault." It always was.

"Oh, really?" She had heard rumors.

"Really," a pause, "Not that sort of really."

Zhen Ji had been about to argue about what sort of really was really real when she noticed a flicker of purple silk out of the corner of her eye. Sure enough, Sima Yi soon materialized from behind another column, smirking wickedly.

"Milord, you shall have to grow better at dodging questions, and quickly. Also, the Wu ambassadors I had told you of are coming."

"What?!"

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Sun Shang Xiang was sure her life could get no worse. Arranged marriages were bad enough. Arranged marriages to one's enemy to secure alliances were worse. Being sent off to Wei because somewhere someone's plotting went wrong put her in a mood to strangle puppies. However, someone foresaw that and had trapped her, unarmed, in an elegant dress and too-tight shoes in a carriage that was moving at a surprising speed northward. She sighed and went back to messing with the shoes; she would figure out how to take them off by the time she arrived in Wei.

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"WHAT?!" Ji was vaguely surprised that her voice could go that loud.

"I just explained. Now, milord, you ought to get dressed, at least for the ceremony."

Oh, how she despised Sima Yi at that moment – his schemes, his smirking face, the way his gaze lingered a moment longer than anyone was comfortable with, the way his backup plans had backup plans, and the way he seemed to spare a halfway-honest smile for her alone... Ji quickly shook that thought from her head. She was angry, no, furious.

"Do I need another idiot girl running around trying to steal away my husband's attention?" Ji snarled, getting in the strategist's face as much as she dared.

"Believe me, milady, you will have no trouble keeping his ... attention ..."

"Just. Shut. Up."

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Shang's battle with her shoes was rudely interrupted by the carriage jolting to a stop and a rather apologetic-looking guard who wore blue, mumbled something inaudible, and bowed too much as he escorted her toward the elaborate hall where the wedding was to take place.

"If it would please milady to follow milady's humble servant...?" It wouldn't. It would please 'milady', Shang thought, if she could drive a stake through the 'humble servant' and the cold-eyed man awaiting her by the altar. In fact, that lovely thought process was what kept her from snapping and physically harming someone during the wedding ceremony itself.

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"But she-!"

"There is no beauty in panic. She will not steal him any more than anyone else has stolen him. Although actually..."

"Junyi! You're not helping!"

"Just saying-"

"Don't say it!"

"You're as bad as he is."

"Who?"

"Your husband." A moment of silence greeted that pronouncement.

"I hate you."

"You cheated on him, too."

"Well, I-!"

"You slept with his brother."

"He was hot."

"I'm not denying that."

"Should I hate you again?"

"It is not beautiful to hate..."

"I hate you."


	2. Chapter 2

"... so that we will have some sort of expendable support when we go against Zhuge Liang, leaving Shu defeated and Wu weakened enough for me, I mean us, to destroy them and control all of China," Sima Yi explained, waving his fan around and stabbing the map as though that would somehow lend credence to his words, or at least make Cao Cao look in his general direction rather than out the window. He glared at his commander's back.

"Milord, are you listening to me?"

"Of course."

"Milord, could you repeat what I just said?"

"Of course."

"Milord, would you notice if I left?"

"Of course."

"Milord, may I stab you and take over the kingdom?"

"Of course."

"Milord, you are an imbecile," Yi said with a grimace as he snatched a stack of papers off of his commander's desk and surreptitiously pocketed the royal seal of Wei before stalking out of the room. This "taking over the kingdom" business was looking better every day.

As he stalked past the personal quarters of most of the royal family, he did his best to tune out whatever noises where audible from therein. Yi had long learned that there were things one had to ignore unless one wanted to be involved. And Yi certainly did not.

"Oh, you're up late, Master Zhongda..." purred a voice from somewhere behind him.

"I'm working," Yi replied, brandishing the papers as proof, "And for heaven's sake, put a shirt on."

"You haven't even turned around..."

"I don't want to."

"Yes you do."

"No, I want to make sure everything that is supposed to be made into law has been, then I want to sleep. Alone. In my bed. With clothes on." That was final. Zhang He rolled his eyes. They had had the exact same conversation many times before. Of course, neither one would ever do anything to change it.

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Dawn broke, revealing empty beds and missing lovers. Shang woke alone, pondering exactly what had happened the previous night. She quickly decided that she would rather not think about it. This was so not how she had imagined married life. Someone was messing with the door, so she hurriedly pulled on the nearest article of clothing and got up, intending to help. The door swung open before she reached it, revealing a young man in violet robes.

"... I suppose our lord has left already...?"

"Clearly. Wh-?"

"I shall take my leave then, farewell." He turned on his heel and left hurriedly, his footsteps nearly silent on the polished floor. Shang frowned, watching him leave. He had an odd aura about him.

"Who says 'I shall take my leave' anymore anyway?" Especially to a girl wearing someone's cape as a last-second dress...

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"Thirteen? You're nuts, kid!"

"He's his father's son, brother, you cannot change that."

"Yeah, but.... THIRTEEN!"

Pi sighed as he tuned out Xiahou Yuan's rambling. There was nothing else one could do, really. He was going to be in for a rant about his father's youthful conquests that would drag on and on and on until someone interrupted it and ...

"I heard that there's an archery competition. Would you care to-?" Yuan cut Zhang He off with a whoop and charged out of the room.

"Well, that worked beautifully. I'd best catch up to him..."

Pi sighed again, this time more from relief than from the darkness of his soul. Archery competitions were more important than awkward conversations, thank the heavens.

"... Were you being serious about that before?" Oh, wonderful. Pi did not want to have to launch into that explanation again.

"Hn."

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Shang was attracting attention, and far more of it than she wanted to. Stares and whispers followed her down the maze of hallways she was trying to navigate. Of course, the vivid shade of red she was wearing might have had something to do with it. That, or the fact that she kept on finding herself in dead ends, tangled in overly-elaborate drapes, or generally on the ground in a pose more common to Xiao Qiao. This was one of those moments she was really thankful for the invention of pants. And furious that her brothers had inherited all of the sense of direction in the family.

"You have walked by here thrice already, Lady Sun," commented a tall man who had been leaning against the wall. Shang did remember passing him a few times. Who could forget seeing that large an amount of butterflies in one place, after all?

"I know."

"Do you need any help?"

"No," Shang replied harshly, turning away from him and striding down another hallway.

"You know, all you could find that way is Lady Zhen's room," the man paused, examining his carefully done nails, "Oh! And more curtains."

"... Bitch."

"Now, then, Lady Sun - may I call you Shang Xiang? - 'bitch' is not the most beautiful way to address anyone who is attempting to help you..." He sounded amused more than anything else.

"I was being nice."

"Honesty is rarely the best policy, Shang Xiang. If you are trying to find the main hall, it's back that way. Mostly."

"Mostly? Why aren't there maps?"

"Someone would use them to plot against someone else." He emphasized the some. Shang raised her eyebrows.

"This happens often?"

"Wei is the court of chaos, Shang Xiang. You see no beauty in that?"

"In plotting against one's superiors? No!"

"... You shall learn." His smirk made Shang really want to stab him. Or maybe that urge was caused by the idea that he looked that much better than her in makeup. Or by the fact that he flounced. It took Shang another hour to find the main hall.


	3. Chapter 3

"... wakes up in your arms rather than-"

"Sima Yi, why are you lecturing me about relationships?" Pi asked, cutting off his strategist's monologue.

"Because... I um... I just..." he shook his head quickly to clear it, "Because, milord, if she despises you then she will make this alliance fall apart at the seams and then we will lose our advantage against Shu and that would lead to a probable loss in battle which would lead to-"

"Hn."

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Zhen Ji turned around to see exactly who had made so much noise in stumbling through the door and scowled upon recognizing her newest rival.

"Is that her?" asked a woman around Ji's age with long brown hair done up in an elaborate bun.

"That's her. What do you think?"

"I think we are now friends."

"Precisely, Nuwang, precisely."

"Any ideas as to what to do with her?"

"Poison. If I don't stick a knife in her first!"

"Say that a little louder. I don't think they heard you in heaven."

"Silence, you."

"You were asking for my help a moment ago."

"I said silence. I am still his favorite."

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"Cousin, I do not think this was a good idea," Xiahou Dun commented, noting the near palpable tension in the room.

"They will get used to her. They always do," Cao Cao waved off the idea that Sun Shang Xiang could cause any trouble at all.

"I dun think anyone needs more girls here. She's gonna-"

"Better more girls than more pretty men."

"I- that... Yeah."

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Sima Yi watched the assembled nobles from his rather comfortable position, half-hidden behind the ridiculously elaborate throne Cao Cao had commissioned just that year. It had been a foolish indulgence, only calling more attention to the growing excess and hinted corruption of the court, but no one had even thought of speaking against it. Their lord, after all, deserved something for having stayed alive for that long. It was a pity, Yi thought, that a man as competent (it had been a long time since Yi had admitted to calling his lord talented) as Cao Cao was mockingly praised for his survival. It just seemed a waste of breath.

"I said 'you sound like a traitor'!" roared someone who sounded suspiciously like a very drunk Xiahou Yuan.

"I understand that you would understand little of honor!" yelled Zhang Liao, whirling his spear over his head. Undoubtedly he had had more than his share of drinks as well.

"Bastaaaard!"

Yi smirked to himself; someone else starting a fight generally took the others' minds off of their own issues. And oh, they had so very many issues.

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Yuan had lunged toward the guy who had insulted him, only to find someone else in the way. He recognized Xu Huang the moment after he had hit the guy hard with the side of his sword. The fight instantly became a slightly more aristocratic version of a bar brawl as everyone within punching, kicking, stabbing, poking, or throwing distance got involved. These types of fights were the best.

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Shang dodged a flying helmet as she tried to avoid the growing mass of fighting men in the most ladylike way she could. Instead of succeeding, she suddenly found herself "accidentally" pinned under a young man she didn't recognize. All that managed to register in her mind were his dark blue eyes before he was forcefully removed from the compromising position by a huge guy wearing a doorag who was laying waste to pretty much everyone and everything.

"Wow..." Shang whispered, dropping all pretenses of propriety and watching the fight wide-eyed. This was almost better than Wu brawls. More expensive silks to rip; more fancy decorations to smash. Oh, and more really bizarre swearing; Gan Ning and the others had at least kept to swearing by heaven that someone would rot in hell most of the time, while Shang was pretty sure she had heard someone swear by some other guy's mother...?

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Sima Yi cleared his throat just loudly enough to draw attention to himself after the majority of the fighters involved were on the ground, albeit for varying reasons and in varying states of consciousness, "... Now that everyone has settled down...? Yes, I, er, our Lord Cao Cao is to address his noble and worthy retainers," Yi paused for fear of gagging on formalities, "to remind them that we still have a war to win you worthless fools. I mean, Milord – the stage is yours."

Cao Cao nodded in his general direction and went off on a carefully scripted tangent that people only pretended to listen to anyway. The point had already been made, but formalities had to be kept. They were the only way anyone would really stay sane

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Cao Cao has long memorized his speech, down to were he was supposed to pause, when he was supposed to stand, when he was supposed to boom the words so that his enemies could hear him and when he was supposed to call upon those loyal to him. Reactions were just as well rehearsed. Nobody really minded that; it was just a fact of life in Wei. He could see Sun Shang Xiang shifting from foot to foot a little aside from everyone else. Her red clothes made her stand out even more.

"She will learn," he had said before, "She will change." They always did.

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	4. Chapter 4

(A/N: Many thanks to my first (and only) reviewer so far! 3 You rock!

So, random chapter of dreams time! A hint of future drama? Or just the products of an overactive mind? :P Sorry these are so very short! I'll upload two chapters at once each time, ok? Anyway, on with the show!)

_A blade as cold as ice pressed against the back of the prince's neck as he knelt before an empty throne. A laugh colder still echoed behind him._

_"Now you see the end of the line," hissed a malevolent voice from somewhere behind him. He tried to move, to shift his weight even a little; he was not tied, after all._

_"You think to escape me?"_

_His body wasn't reacting right. He couldn't move._

_"You fool... you will never escape."_

_He couldn't yell. He couldn't struggle._

_"You cannot escape the inevitable."_

_He couldn't breathe. He couldn't blink._

_"You cannot escape me..." _

_He felt a stab of pain._

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_A single candle glowed in the middle of the dark room, its flame bringing a hint of warmth to the otherwise freezing surroundings. A wind was picking up, icier still, and it whipped around the room, sending the darkness swirling into a maddened spiral. The candle was snuffed out. She knew she could light it again; she just had to reach it, through the darkness. Through the chaos. She had a light on her fingertips and she reached out to the candle..._

_"Light..." she whispered_

_"Why?" mocked another voice. The light died as she turned to face him. He was swathed in shadows, as twisted as his surroundings._

_"It will never last." Neither would she. He was laughing._

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_The capital was on fire. The youth knew it. He could see it burning, collapsing. Han flags were crumbling into dust, but there was nothing there to replace them. It was a funeral pyre for the past, and atop it lay a living man with dull blue eyes. He had lit the fire. He had destroyed it all. Flames licked at his feet, and cold laughter emanated from the lips of the one other figure there. _

_"Why do you laugh as we fall?" whispered the king._

_"I watch a phoenix burn its last!" laughed the other as smoke obscured them from view. All that was left of king and kingdom was the smoke and ash, and the echo of a madman's laugh._

_"Father...!"_

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_"Traitor!" That was the word on the lips of the rightful king. The word on the lips of his bodyguard. The word on the lips of the queen. The word on the lips of the champion. Of the generals. Of the nobles. Of the guards. Of the scholars. Of the peasants. Of the servants. Of the wind. And he knew whom they were calling. A mastermind with brilliant eyes took the fall, accused by all around him and laughing aloud. They said he was crazy, but the soldier knew otherwise._

_"Traitors will be punished as they are due, do you not agree?" asked the condemned man, gazing out at his silent accomplice. They would burn together in hell._

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_He was fighting again. Blood stained his clothes and flew through the air as he slaughtered the faceless monsters around him. He would save the kingdom: no one else could. He could hear screams of agony around him. Their pain would pass. The world was blurring; everything save his sword was dissolving into a swirl of red-stained whiteness. Something caught on the very tip of his blade: a scrap of blue fabric. His cousin's bloodstained cape. Sudden clarity showed his cousin's face in harsh relief against the whiteness. Dead. A cold, mad laugh echoed behind him as despair ripped him apart._

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Morning light lit Wei castle, illuminating its inhabitants in the brief moment before they could be ready for the coming day. These were the moments that they were weakest, the moments they were loneliest, the moments where, despite all hubris, talent, wealth and power, they were human.

Zhang He would have pondered the implications of that if he didn't know them too well already. He was up early; his long, jet black hair had been brushed until it shone in the first rays of sunlight, and his daily mask of makeup was halfway applied. For a moment, staring in the mirror, he tried to picture his real face, as it was beneath the beautiful paint. He could not. It was certainly too early in the day to think about real anything.

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Shang awoke alone. Again. She threw on clothes and, glaring defiantly at nothing in particular, lit a candle.

"I like fire," she said, as though that needed explaining, as though someone could hear her. Her hair was mussed and her clothes did not match but she told herself she did not care as she moved towards the door. She would face the world exactly how she was. No one could change her. No one would make her into something she was not. She stopped a foot from the door, turned around, and walked back. When she left the room, she was wearing a dress and Da Qiao's makeup.

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(A/N: And, yeah, please to be reviewing? I like reactions-- is it good, bad, wtf?!, medium, what? Concrit is loved, flames are not minded. ^.^)


	5. Chapter 5

(A/N: Not much to say: part 5, enjoy! 3 )

"And then, he practically threw himself at me," Zhang He was explaining to anyone who would listen, giggly, giddy, and waving his hands around enough to start a small tornado, "He said that he-- Oh dear heavens what did she do to her _hair_?"

"What?"

"Huh?"

"Your mother?"

"I missed something...?"

Heads turned in the direction He was staring. For a split second, the silence was thick enough to be cut with a knife, or, hell, a feather.

"... You look nice, Princess," Sima Yi articulated, forcing a semi-honest smile. Shang though that it made him look like he was in pain.

"Oh, thanks!" Then then situation actually sank in. She blinked. "Uh... waitasec... I uh..." Words were not exactly working with her. She was pretty sure her face was rebelling likewise. Sima Yi smirked wickedly and turned back around.

"You were saying, Zhang He?"

"... Her eyeshadow is the wrong color."

"Oh?"

"And her hair is messy."

"Hm..."

"And she's not even that beautiful!"

"... Zhang He?"

"So you ought not-"

"Junyi!"

"Yeah?"

"Calm yourself." A pause. Shang slipped out of their field of vision and tried to surreptitiously slip behind them to better listen in on their conversation

"Do you think she is beautiful?"

"That is your adjective."

"Do you like her?"

"I don't do liking."

"You're avoiding the question!"

"That is why I am the strategist..." Yi was right. Yi was always right.

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"Is there any actual point to this, Yi?" Cao Pi complained for the umpteenth time.

"Of course."

"Then by all means enlighten me!"

"Pray tell me why, milord?"

"Because I am asking you to!"

"I can see that, milord."

"... Would it help if I begged?"

"Er, milord?"

"Would you prefer if I were pleading with you? If I were on my knees? Should I write you a blasted poem about it?"

"... Milord, one of these things is not like the other. Also, your father-"

"-is right behind me right now, isn't he?"

"... Indeed I am," Cao Cao said dryly, "And I sincerely hope there was context to your suggestions, Pi."

"Of course there was a context, father!" Pi seemed abnormally flustered.

"Clearly, sir, the only thing filthy here is your mind. I can assure you of that. We were doing research," Yi explained calmly, fighting the urge to roll his eyes. Dignity. Dignity was mandatory.

"Research? As to what?"

"... Battle strategies, sir? That is my job, after all."

"That makes sense," Cao agreed grudgingly. How annoying it was to have Yi's logic ruining the perfect piece of... blackmail? Well, there was definitely something that could be considered perfectly something about... something. Cao made a mental note to never try to get drunk past two at night. It never worked out well in the morning.

"I would not make a fool out of myself sir, you know that. That is why you hired me," Yi said with a sigh, "Now if you would excuse me, I have work to finish." Pi chose that moment to to make a discrete exit.

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"What is wrong with you today?" Zhang Liao asked, gazing down at the man he had been sparring with.

"Nothing. Clearly, you're better than me," Xu Huang replied, pulling himself to his feet again. Nerves shouldn't have affected him so. Honestly, nerves shouldn't be affecting him at all.

"Something is on your mind, my friend."

"No. Nothing." Footsteps. The two turned around in time to see a young man approaching, carrying a long sword.

"I was about to ask if I could spar with one of you, but this looks like a bad time..." he trailed off, dark blue eyes scanning their faces for some clue as to what was wrong. Huang wasn't going to tell.

"No, no. Everything is all right," he assured the youth, cracking a grin, or at least trying to.

"Are you certain? I hope you can forgive any implications, but the last time I saw that facial expression on someone was when Zhang He made Sima Yi drop the Imperial Seal in front of Lord Cao Cao. He barely managed to talk his way out of that, and Lord Cao Cao still thinks that he's plotting against everyone," the youth said with a laugh, "And you? Are you plotting something too?"

The idea was ridiculous enough to have all present laughing. Huang, loyal, grounded, anti-political Huang, who couldn't tell a lie, who lived by his honor code, who disapproved of attacking an enemy from behind, plotting? Xiahou Yuan clapped the strange youth on the shoulder in congratulations for making the joke of the year.

_"It's_ because_ they would never suspect you that you have this chance. Take it,_" hissed a voice in the back of Huang's mind, cutting through the cacophony around him. He felt sick.

(A/N: Plot. I haz it. Thoughts? Ideas? Pairings? Hit review~!)


	6. Chapter 6

(A/N: I'm back! Sorry for the wait-- school got in the way... anyway, here's the next chapter!)

------------------

"So Shang Xiang-?"

"Obviously."

"Except-?"

"Exactly."

"And Sima Yi-?"

"So it appears."

"So-"

"Precisely."

"Lovely..."

"I know."

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Pi kicked the door in annoyance. The one time he could find out anything useful from Zhang He and Zhen Ji, they had to be speaking spyspeak.

"Speaking spyspeak? Hn, I'm becoming my father..." Although his father certainly had fewer problems. Although everything involving Yi became a problem after a while. Pi almost decided that he would have to make someone figure that out for him, before he realized that the only person who would be of use in figuring Yi out was Zhuge Liang, and there was no way in anything that Pi was going to follow _that_ lead. Of course, the other lead would be asking Yi, which also was out of the question Why did everything have to be so hard?

"That's what she said," Pi muttered under his breath.

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Zhang He flounced happily down the path towards the gardens. Birds were singing, butterflies were fluttering, small children -- they were all probably Cao Cao's offspring, but still, they were cute! -- were playing tag, nobles were fighting about nothing in particular, Cao Pi was confused out of his mind and everything was going according to plan. Admittedly, _He's_ plan needed a lot of work, but at least everything was going according to Sima Yi's plan. A rather villainous giggle escaped He's lips: not only was everything going right, he was going to be in on the plan.

"... And that is truly a beautiful thing! Master Zhongda must trust me now- I shall not fail him!"

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Cao Cao gazed out the window, watching the scene below him with some amusement. Sima Yi was leaning against a blossoming tree of some sort, looking, for the moment, like the very image of philosophical and scholarly innocence. Zhang He was a short distance away from him, visibly nervous and managing to look more suspicious than a drunken pirate trying to infiltrate the imperial palace. Cao Cao knew from experience that that was a tough standard to beat. Clearly, something was amiss.

"Romance or plotting?" mused the Wei king aloud. Sima Yi was involved in it, making it a thousand times more likely to be plotting. Then again, Zhang He was involved in it, and they were in a garden of flowers, making it a thousand times more likely to be romance.

"Hm." Cao returned his gaze to the scene playing out beneath his window. Yi was explaining something sotto voice, albeit with some crazy hand gestures, and He was clearly hanging on to every word, bouncing nervously in his high heels.

"Plotting. Certainly a plotting face." Except not quite, since He then promptly flung his arms around the violet-clad strategist, who blushed vividly enough for Cao to see from his rather out-of-the-way vantage point. This was interesting. Very interesting...

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"Junyi. Let. Go. Of. Me," Yi muttered, trying to pull free of the taller man's deathgrip-style hug.

"Never," came the teasing reply, "I shall hug you until you faint, and then I shall-"

"You shall do nothing, because I shall kill you first, you incompetent little fool. Now let me go."

"Fine, if you insist on spoiling my amusement..."

"You can amuse yourself by helping me. We both know that that dead men make poor emperors. Anyway, I will take your reaction as a 'yes, Master Zhongda, I will help you take over and I will not tell a soul about your plans.' Am I interpreting it correctly?"

He could only nod. This was going to turn out beautifully.

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Shang slashed at the straw dummy furiously. It was doing little for her anger, but she decided that murdering half the inhabitants of Wei castle would only make her more like them.

"Die die die die die to deathly death you dead thing!" All right, it was far from her best battle cry, but she was tired, and the face she was picturing on the dummy kept changing without any conscious desire on her part. She was pretty sure that that was bad for her.

"And you die, and you die, and I'll just cut your arm off, and you... die, and you die and certainly die and you-? oh, you are gonna rot in a purple-"

"Princess Sun? I thought I would find you here," Yi practically purred as he approached her. She jumped. Cao Cao was the one who was supposed to be everywhere, dammit!

"Um, yeah... Do you uh... want something?"

"I needed to speak with you. I found out something you might find... useful..."

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"So, you're saying Liu Bei-"

"Indeed."

"And Cao Cao thought-?"

"Clearly."

"And my brothers were-"

"It appears so."

"Uh, that's... great... Uh..."

"Well, use this as you will."


	7. Chapter 7

Zhen Ji sighed. Of course things had to be this complicated. It was a normal occurrence in the court of Wei. It was days like this, however, that made her wish she had been married off into a slightly saner family. Perhaps one that had no plotting, power struggles, or war plans. Oh, and certainly no Sima Yi. _That_ would be a good life. A knock on the door jolted her from her reverie.

"Who is it?"

"Me."

"Wu?" The prospect of her sister-in-law spending time with her made Ji want to dive out a window.

"Yup! Can I come in?"

"I'm tired."

"I bear gossip of the the epicest quality."

"Oh?" Ji dragged herself to her feet and opened the door. Gossip was good, no matter what. The younger girl, Cao Wu, giggled happily and bounced into the room, ponytail flapping.

"You would never believe this...!" she squealed.

"Try me. By now there are very few things I wouldn't believe."

"So... You know Master Sima Yi, yeah?"

"Obviously..." Ji didn't like where this was going already.

"So did you know that I heard from Zhang Liao who heard it from Xu Huang who heard it from Xu Chu who heard it from some guy that he was, get this," Wu stopped for dramatic emphasis, "_with_ Princess Shangie?"

"... Truly? Define 'with'." Ji said tiredly. Of course no one ever got the rumors straight to her. Ever.

"Like, I donno... But they were probably like kissing and stuff and that's really good gossip because of big brother."

"Oh?"

"Because like of course you know that he married Princess Shangie -isn't her hair so cute? I wish I could pull off short hair! Anyway - but I got it from the palace servants that he cares more about Master Sima Yi! Except, except, that Master Sima Yi is really with Junyi and not really because he's really manipulating everyone and he's really a demon with three heads and three brains which is why he's so smart," Wu paused, "That's what I heard anyway."

"... All right then."

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Sima Yi was oddly happy. This was a very uncommon state of being for him, but it was pleasant nonetheless, he decided. Currently, he had forsaken the stack of scrolls that would need reading, editing, rewriting, and grammar-picking, and had chosen instead to spend his few minutes of free time lounging on a pile of two dozen pillows and cushions which he had stolen from multiple locations that he could not quite remember. Not that it mattered. He was I comfy /I. And really going insane if he was using words as childish as 'comfy'.

"All is going well... I can afford this..." The strategist laid his head back down on a stack of soft, downy pillows. It was a good day. Sunlight bathed his office in a warm glow. He allowed himself a glance out the nearest window. Flowers bloomed on every single flowering plant in the area. It looked... pretty. Innocent. Nice. Not adjectives Yi would even consider using under normal circumstances. Clearly these were not normal circumstances. A laugh escaped Yi's lips.

"No, not normal at all..."

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"Damnit damnit damnit damnit!" Shang snarled as as she beat her fists pointlessly against the wall. This was bad. This was very bad. No matter which way she looked at things, at least five people were lying to her about everything. Of course, she didn't even know the right way to look at things at this point; if she had, she wouldn't have been having a meltdown trying to get Sima Yi's voice out of her mind. He was a lying bastard. He had to be.

But, but, he had seemed honest. Concerned. Interested. He had looked her in the eye and treated her like she had a right to know as much as anyone else. He had smiled at her. He had been charming. He had complimented her and it had seemed real. He had touched her arm to console her and she had felt a spark,

But, but, he was untrustworthy. Villainous. Ambitious. He had manipulated the whole court into doing his bidding, it seemed. He had said everything she wanted to hear, and everything she had feared since she had arrived. He had been too forthcoming with information. He had smiled at others. Charmed others. Used others. She had looked into his eyes to analyze him, and she had seen a wolf.

But a beautiful wolf.

But one with bloodstained fangs.

"Damnit!"

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Cao Pi scowled at his little sister. There was no way that any part of that rumor was true, but the mere thought made him angrier than he had been in quite a while.

"Wu, what in the name of the heavens gave you the idea that my," here Pi practically choked on a runaway train of thought; 'my Zhongda' would not be the best thing to say in front of his gossipmongering sister, "My strategist is... in a relationship with my new wife?"

"Well, my sources say that they were seen together. What would you say to that, brother dearest?" Wu watched his reaction carefully. She may not have been brilliant, but she was a Cao, and Caos were masters of manipulation and of getting information.

"I would- wait what?! That- no... No, I would say that you need new sources, little sister," Pi managed a quick save of face. He hoped.

"Oh, really?" Wu asked with a smirk. This was going perfectly.

"Yes. Really."

"Really really?"

"Really. Your sources have mental difficulties."

"You should meet them, then."

"Fine."

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The blue-eyed young man watched the approaching siblings. He hadn't wanted this. Now, clearly, he was needed again. Now everything was going to start again. And it was not going to be pretty.

"Hello again. I take it you were looking for me?" he asked, emerging from behind a tall tree to face the duo with a bitter smile. He got the expected response. Pi's jaw dropped.

"A-Ang?" he finally choked out, "You-? How-? You're supposed to be dead!"

"Yeah. Except, I'm not. And I don't want to be king, so stop the panic."

"Wait..." Wu suddenly realized something, "You know each-? Waitasec- ANG? What- You said your name was Kai, not-!"

"Well, little sister, I had to keep my secrets somehow, didn't I?" Ang gave his best Cao smirk. No matter how much time he had spent away from his family, he was still one of them. Wu fainted. Pi came close to following her, but steeled himself, shook his head, and turned to his prodigal older brother.

"So, so, th-that thing about Zhongda was...?"

"A slight twisting of truth. Slight. I needed an excuse to face you two. Otherwise, my plans would never bear fruit. So, little brother, you must understand- I have been running from who I am too long. I realized the virtues of our father's way, so I used the very path I once so hated to make myself into something worthwhile. Wouldn't father be proud...?" It was, all in all, a very properly Cao speech.

"Hn. Father would still abandon you. You lack ambition, like Zhi always has. Neither of you will ever make father proud because you are too weak. I am his only worthy heir because I am the only one who is capable of bringing plans to fruition. I know you: you will abandon anything worthwhile the instant you realize that people will be harmed. Why do you even bother with this? You will fail because your heart will rule you. Abandon your pathetic quest." It was, all in all, a very properly Cao speech.

"Little brother, you are pathetic."

"No, you are!"

"No, you a- Let's help Wu first, all right?"

"This is what what I was saying about you being pathetic," Pi grumbled, helping to lift his sister up.

"This is where you are wrong. And pathetic," Ang replied. They argued all the way back up to the castle.

(A/N: So, there is PLOT! :D )


	8. Chapter 8

(A/N: And now the plot thickens. Maybe. Just read it, ok? )

"Master Zhongda!" Zhang He almost yelled, sprinting around a corner and smack into his aforementioned boss.

"Junyi. Breathe. Yes, I heard about our young lord. In fact, I saw him."

"So it's true, then?"

"Yes. Although I must admit he revealed himself sooner than I expected. That could be a dangerous development..."

"Well, I- you- that... It'll be fine. He's just another Cao. It's not like any of them can outthink you! You are the most brilliant and amazing and-"

"Junyi. Enough of that. I ... I would rather you didn't drown me in ill-deserved compliments at this point. I will welcome them once my plans are not on the border of _failure_!" Both of them were pretty sure they could hear the scare chords at that one.

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Word spread quickly enough. By the time everyone could be gathered in the throne room for an emergency meeting, Ang's return was common knowledge. In case it wasn't, people were yelling, across the room to get their stories straight with one another. Princess Wu was awake again, shaky and pale. Pi was taking his worries out on his little brother, Zhi, who was trying to look dignified while flailing around in a half-nelson. Cao Cao himself slouched on his throne, looking like he would give anything to make someone else make the speech. Yi hovered nervously beside him, shooting surreptitious glances at Ang, who stood a little apart from everyone else, toying with the pendant he had worn since his arrival.

"Milord," Yi murmured, "Why- what happened to your forehead?" His eyes widened at the sight of the thin trickle of blood almost hidden by his commander's helmet.

"I tried to concuss myself with a column. It didn't help. I still have to leave the kingdom to one of those idiots. You are still plotting against me - don't try to argue that one, really. I still have no chance of actually uniting anything before I die. Heaven still seems to have it in for me, if that bastard is anything to go by and-"

"Pardon me, sir, but what 'bastard'?" Yi felt a prickle of fear. Somehow, something about that had put him on edge. He glanced again toward Prince Ang, who refused to meet his eyes. Cao Cao hesitated before speaking, and gestured for Yi to lean closer.

"He's called Horn, I think. He... he has been following me around for a while- vanishes every time I try to call for anyone..." Cao trailed off.

"So, you are saying that you are being haunted by some kind of mystic?" This was bad. Yi could practically hear his plans collapsing.

"Look, I know what it sounds like," his voice turned pleading, "But you have to believe me."

"... Guo Jia mentioned someone called 'Black Horn' before he died. That's the only reason I do not think you are entirely insane. We will talk about this later. Speech now." With that, Yi faded back into the shadows, watching as Cao Cao gave the most reasonable and honorable explanation for the past day's events that anyone could come up with.

Ang had left off playing with the pendant, giving Yi a split second to see what it was- gleaming spiral of some sort of black material - before the younger man tucked it away under his shirt. Certainly, this was very bad.

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After the meeting, Shang sat on a garden bench, trying to pull herself together. Too much had happened in too short a time.

"I'm sorry," she whispered into the breeze, "I'm so sorry. I will fail you if I haven't already. It's all my fault..." She choked back tears. She could remember Zhou Yu's parting words clearly: _"Take care. Do not lose yourself in what is offered to you."_ She had laughed it off at that point. Now, what she wouldn't give to be home again. Except... Sima Yi's voice echoed in her mind: _"Princess, you know they never will see you as an equal. They have sold you away to further themselves. Is that what you want to go crawling back to? You are worth more... So much more..." _A gust of cool wind pulled her back to reality.

"Sun Shang Xiang, if you cry, you will fall to his trap," said a man's voice from behind her. She jumped, whirled, reached for a weapon she just realized she hadn't brought, then blinked. The stranger was a gentle-looking old man in the robes of a Taoist sage. Shang swallowed hard and said the most obvious thing one could say when graced with the presence of a mystic.

"Who the hell are you?!"

"My name is Zuo Ci. I am here to guide you, child. The corruption here will harm you if it goes unchecked. You know that." She did. She had felt it from the first moment.

"If you're only here to tell me things I already know, get out!" It had changed her.

"I cannot interfere with mortal affairs directly, child, but I can warn you. You have a pure heart; do not let it be tainted. There are many here who would use you to their own ends. Do not trust them. Only your heart can tell you right from wrong." He made a motion to step away. She grabbed his arm.

"Tell me something actually useful, you bastard!"

"You will find my words useful in time," the sage intoned, with a knowing smile, and vanished.

"Princess Sun!" Shang turned swiftly towards the yell to see Sima Yi actually running down the hill toward her. He looked... worried? Whatever it was, she had never seen _that_ expression on his face.

"Um... What's up?" she asked as he managed to stop, gracefully, at that, a few inches away from her.

"Are you all right...? You look upset. Who was that man?" he asked, scanning the area suspiciously, fingertips resting on the dagger he wore at his belt. The hilt and sheath were decorated and pretty, but Shang could assume the blade was fully functional.

"Uh... Zuo Ci. I think. It's what he said, anyway. Why? Is something wrong?" Shang could feel panic gripping her heart. There had to be something severely wrong to warrant that much of a reaction from from _Sima Yi_.

Yi took a deep breath and launched into an explanation.

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"So you're saying that that guy...?" Shang didn't quite have the words to summarize what she had heard. She got the "magic" part, the "not on our side" part, and the "manipulating stuff" part, but short of that she was lost.

"I suppose. If what I have found out is true, then we all have to be very careful," Yi said with a sigh.

"I can take care of myself!" Shang snapped. The gut feeling that had been bothering her for days threatened to break the surface of her uncaring façade. She clenched her fists and bit back tears.

"... I know, Princess Sun, I know. I just hope you can forgive me for ... worrying? About you..." Yi trailed off; he had been in the process of reaching towards her, but he aborted the gesture as soon as he appeared to realize what he was doing. A faint pink tint marked his high cheekbones. Embarrassment? Shang would have made a witty comment if she had noticed. She would have noticed if his words had not been the final straw for the dangerous mixture of emotions that had been boiling inside of her since her arrival in Wei. Shang wasn't even sure why, but she was sobbing. Yi wasn't sure why, but he pulled her close to comfort her.


	9. Chapter 9

Princess Cao Wuxing was not having a good day. Or week, for that matter. Or year, not that she thought about it. But certainly the past day had been especially bad. It was odd, she thought, how the most carefully laid plans could fall apart due to one unexpected development. With a sigh, Cao Cao's only legitimate daughter turned to her twin brother.

"Zhi, what are you doing?"

"Writing. Clearly, dearest sister, elder brother's arrival has scrambled your brain."

"Ugh. What in heaven's name are you writing?"

"Nothing that would interest you."

"More sappy terrible love poems, then."

"Shut up!"

"Pft. Brother, you are going to have your heart broken. She will never care about you. I mean, no offense, but who'd leave Pi for I you /I?" Wu giggled. Zhi glowered. Oh, yeah, that had hit a good nerve.

"Lady Zhen is too good for him! Besides, he has that southern girl to amuse him..."

"You know that's not how it is. Sima Yi-"

"IWhy /I is it always about Sima Yi?" the youth threw his inkbrush aside in a fury, "He's not that special! What does he have that we don't, Wu? He's not that smart! Not some kind of hero! We know-- everyone knows -- exactly what he is, but we still let him walk all over us! IWHY /I?"

"Zhi, cut it before he hears you! If you want to rebel dramatically, I won't stop you,. but at least think before you rage! What Sima Yi has is control and skill, not to mention more of a brian than you would admit to anyone having. You won't win against him-"

"You and Pi are always the same. Are the both of you in love with that fool?"

"No. At least I'm not, can't say anything as to big brother. You and Pi are alike in that- both of you fall crazy in love with people. Anyway, the point is you'd need a plan to hit him where it hurts. That is, if you actually want to go through with it. You know, playing politics detracts from time you can spend stalking Lady Zhen and writing deep things."

"True... I suppose it would be time consuming... Still, we should at least out big brother, if that's what's been bothering him lately. What with all your talk of plans, do you actually have one?"

Wu smirked at her twin, "Brother dearest... I thought you'd never ask."

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Zhang He tried to keep himself from laughing aloud as the Wei Princess outlined her "masterful plan".

"Well, milady, that would work beautifully, but where would we get a three meter long butterfly, a green horse, and two kilometers of gold chains?"

"Shut up. I know it needs revising. Just... Yeah. You know."

"Of course, milady," He purred, sweeping a low bow, "I shall bring this beautiful plan to fruition!" He was practically radiating butterflies at this point.

"Uh, yeah. You do that. With beauty."

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Perched gracefully on a rafter, Zhang He surveyed his work. It had taken him a few hours to set up, but the result was going to get reactions. A rather evil grin played on his painted lavender lips. Knowing people's little secrets, dirty or otherwise, was always useful, whether for pranks, blackmail, or just personal amusement. The door was going to open any second now, to reveal the crown prince and his top advisor, just like every day. Sure enough Cao Pi stormed in, ranting about something or other and ignoring the world around him. Yi trailed behind him, nodding in time to the younger man's complaints. Of course, IYi /I noticed the spider webs.

"... blasted incompetent moron said that I would never be fit to be emperor so I did the logical thing and said I'd have him exe- is there something on my head?"

"Er, in fact, sir, there is," Yi answered calmly, watching the rather huge spider crawl towards his arachnophobic boss's face. This was going to be interesting.

"What is – AURGH!" the logical question dissolved into an incoherent yell of terror as Pi began to flail around trying to get the spider off of him without touching it. This went on for a good few minutes, certainly enough to bring half the castle running, until Yi finally reached over and brushed the poor creature onto the palm of his hand.

"There, it's off. No harm done. You can breathe now, sir," the strategist commented as he released the spider onto the wall. Pi blinked and stared blankly at him.

"How-? What-? I... I... just-! I think I should be the one rescuing Iyou/I!"

"A simple 'Thank you, Zhongda, for being rational in the face of something one-onehundreth your size' would have worked just as well, sir..."

"Or that," Pi muttered, trying to hide the fact that he was blushing a rather vivid shade of red. He had talent when it came to humiliating himself in front of those he was trying to impress. Because he needed Yi to like him. Because that would secure him the throne.

"Er, are you all right, sir? You look unwell... If there is something I can do for you...?"

Pi's snappy retort lodged in his throat at the look of concern in the other man's eyes. "I... I'm fine. I should go. I... You... I'm sure you have things to do..." Pi beat a hasty retreat. Yi had no right, none at all, to get under Pi's skin quite that much, or look that painfully charming doing it. Pi would have to pass a law against it...

(Uh, yeah. ^^ That was the less sappy version. I swear. Review please? Tell me how to write romance better!!)


	10. Chapter 10

(A/N: So, next chapter~! Enjoy, guys... I know it's a short installment, but yeah... I'll upload more soon!)

Cao Cao took a deep breath and, after three hours of doing anything and everything a king could possibly be required to do, finally turned his attention to the letter on his desk, stamped with a Shu seal. The thought of his enemies worked wonders on his productivity. He told himself to read, not skim.

"Blah blah blah noble and worthy marquis? I like it! Anyway... yadda yadda yadda virtuously uphold the blah blah blah Xuande wrote this for certain..." It seemed as though his fears were unfounded, as the letter was a generally pleasant greeting from the Shu king. As was normal for Liu Bei, the polite and formalized greeting took a good three pages. Cao Cao made himself read all of it carefully- it would not do to make a fool out of himself. Eventually, his indigo eyes landed on a single word that made his hair stand on end: "treaty". It was clearly time for another emergency meeting.

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"Pi, please tell me this is not your fault," Zhi groaned as he watched his older brother fidgeting nervously somewhere as far away from people as was possible.

"Uh, how would it be his fault?" Ang questioned nervously. He was fairly sure that he had been gone too long to know all of the latest gossip, and he hated being in the dark.

"You mean you don't _know_?" gasped Wu, dramatically, pretending to swoon. Zhi rolled his eyes at her antics.

"There is nothing to _know_ aside from Pi's love of annoying our father and our little sister's stupidity. I am just saying that it is perfectly likely that Pi managed to get himself cut from father's will, hence the meeting."

"The question is _how_ he managed to do that, and the answer is-" Wu was cut off by her father's timely arrival. She bowed respectfully and strolled to her proper place beside her twin. Ang saw her mouth 'I'll tell you later' behind Zhi's back at the same time Pi mouthed something to the effect of 'Don't trust her!'. This was going to be interesting...

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"... Which in summary means that we can't kill them for a little while. Also, Shu is sending ambassadors over for a little while, but it's nothing we have to worry about," Cao Cao paused in his speech to smirk slightly, "After all, we have Sima Yi and an alliance with Wu. No one would be stupid enough to come here to cause trouble in that situation." Case closed, in his opinion at least. Yi mimicked his smirk and bowed slightly to accept the compliment. If one looked closely enough, one could see that his knuckles were white from how tightly he was clutching his fan, but he showed no other signs of fear or nerves. After all, that's how people survived in Wei.

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Shang glanced around nervously, trying to listen in on the whispers that spread through the hall. Most seemed to be to the effect of "What does he mean we can't kill them?", which Shang found to be oddly comforting. Maybe, just maybe, Wei and Wu were not that different.

"What he mean, you fools, is that we cannot attack them openly. We can bait them into striking first and then annihilate them, however, making it appear as if they broke the treaty. I'll handle the manipulation, you handle... the aftermath," Yi hissed rather audibly in the wall two feet to the left of the main complainers. Okay, so maybe they weren't _that_ similar. Unconsciously, her green eyes drifted over him as she tried to decipher something, anything, about him.

Yi was of average height, maybe a little shorter than most. Slender, almost delicately built, and graceful in a way that was unusual for men. Not traditionally handsome by any means, she thought, but not ugly. Strangely good-looking, but slightly... off. Wrong, somehow. Shang grimaced and shook it off as nerves. It was highly unlikely that the High Strategist of Wei was demon in disguise. As it were, she could amuse herself by picturing him with fox ears and a tail...

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"So, care to enlighten me about all of that, Zhi?"

"I suppose I must, mustn't I? I am least likely to bias my report..."

"Sure, that. Just tell me."

"It is nothing, really. Our sister assumes things too swiftly..."

"Spit. It. Out."

"I do not see why-" here a clank of metal interrupted Zhi's sentence, "Don't point that at me!"

"I'll point what I want, where I want, little brother."

"All she said was that um... wellshethinksthatPifanciesmen."

"What?"

"She. Thinks. Pi. Likes. Men. Specifically Sima Yi. See? Like I said, it's really stupid and well... stupid..."

"Heh. We can put it to use, at least. We know what to tell her if we want to send her running off away from something _we're_ planning, don't we?"

"I suppose so... What are you planning?"

"That's my little secret, brother dearest..."

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"So, about-"

"No."

"Luoshen, you do not even know what I was about to say!"

"I know you well enough, Junyi. The answer is no."

"So what if-"

"Then I get him, all right?"

"You enjoy using this princess thing to your advantage a little too much..."

"You would too."

"Some days I think I would be more beautiful a lady than you are..."

"Some days I think you're a bitch."

"Testy today, are we? It shall pass when the ambassadors arrive..."

"Do you know something about this that I do not?"

"Luoshen-- I lead the spies. I know plenty. Keep your eyes open in the near future, and you may see... plenty. If you know what I am insinuating?"

"I doubt it to be any different from what you usually insinuate, I shall assume that yes, I do know."

"Beautiful, then! This shall be an interesting scenario..."

"Oh, certainly."

(A/N: So yeah... Concrit? Reactions? Anything? Comment/review as you wish! Luv ya guys!)


	11. Chapter 11

(A/N: Hi! I'm back! There is much plotting occurring in this chapter, so yeah. The plot liiiivvvees! And it's not [entirely] about Shangie's lovelife!)

The Shu ambassadors were exactly three minutes late. This was undoubtedly part of the plan, as it caused something verging on panic throughout the court of Wei. Sima Yi, usually the voice of relative reason, was not helping, instead snapping at anyone who looked at him. Currently, his nerves were leading him to scare the living daylights out of some newly-recruited guard.

"S-sir? Are-"

"I'M _FINE_, HEAVEN DAMN IT _ALL_! Can't you see that I am perfectly _FINE_?"

"S-sir?"

"I'm always _FINE_! Why do people have to ask? I'm never upset, never sick, never _not_ _FINE_!" Yi yelled, grabbing the guard by the front of his uniform, before he realized what he was doing and composed himself, "I am perfectly all right."

"Y-yes sir!" the guard whimpered, trying to shrink into the wall, which only seemed to set the strategist off again. Lucky for the guard, someone else managed to attract all the attention. The ambassadors had arrived, led by...

"Oh, damn him..." groaned Sima Yi.

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"I want no one to give them any reason to suspect a thing. Is that clear?"

"Yes, Prime Minister."

"Good. Wei is not to be underestimated."

"No one here can hold a candle to you!"

"I appreciate the compliment, but it would not do for your safety to be compromised by anyone stumbling upon this."

"I shall not fail you!"

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Zhang He watched the confrontation out of the corner of his eye with more than a little amusement. He knew that they were probably the two most dangerous men on the continent, but at that moment in time they more closely resembled a couple of angry schoolboys, glowering at each other whenever they thought no one was looking, but trying in vain to act civil.

"Do you already have your draft of the treaty written up, Zhuge Liang?"

"Certainly. I can assure you that it is fair and reasonable, Sima Yi."

"Well, a... committee can judge that, would you not agree?"

"Certainly."

"Certainly."

"Indeed." Liang smiled blandly. Yi glared. Both of them seemed to have forgotten how to blink. Zhang He fought the urge to poke them. Liang leaned casually against the wall. Yi, a little further from it, tried to mimic the action but overbalanced and found himself falling. Instinct from too many years of dodging drunken punches and leading armies on two hours of sleep a week kicked in and he regained his balance, righted himself, and leaned against the wall calmly, as if nothing had happened.

"Truly. As we shall soon be allies, Zhuge Liang, we would do well to aid one another."

"In what way do you suggest I should aid you?" The Shu strategist looked almost amused.

"You misunderstand. I am capable enough, as are you. Our superiors, on the other hand..." Yi left the end of that sentence open to interpretation. Liang's eyes gleamed for a split second.

"Ah. Do you have a plan to deal with this?"

"None. I do not seek my lord's death, but..."

"But you would not mind it."

"Some days... Clearly my virtue is weak at best."

"You simply lack control. I will make sure everything goes smoothly."

"As will I," a moment of almost comfortable silence passed before Yi finished his thought, "And only I shall succeed."

"Certainly."

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Shang paced her room nervously. She had been hidden away before the ambassadors had arrived, for reasons no one had bothered to explain. Okay, so maybe that wasn't totally true: Sima Yi had seemed on the verge of telling her everything everyone else knew before Cao Pi had dragged him off, grumbling about needing a masterful plan. Shang, having seen the ambassadors through her window, had realized _why_ the plan had to be so very masterful the instant she had recognized the man in the white robes who had been walking at the head of the small party. If Zhuge Liang was involved in something, it was going to get complicated. Shang just didn't know _how_ complicated.

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"So, what are you planning, exactly, Master Zhongda?" Zhang He asked curiously, leaning on his boss's desk as the latter scowled at his paperwork. It had been a few hours since Zhuge Liang and his ambassadors had arrived, and they had been installed, or rather, locked, in the most elaborate death trap ever designed as guest quarters.

"It's complicated and it will be foiled by someone sneezing at the wrong moment, just you wait. Lord Cao Cao-"

"-Is an idiot and we both know it. Why won't you do something? If you rebelled-!"

"Then I would be captured, you imbecile! Learn patience."

"If you tell me your plans I can help you!" He leaned over and yanked the paper out of Yi's hands, forcing the younger man to look him in the eye. Yi paused.

"You honestly _want_ to get involved in this, don't you?" the strategist asked, his voice soft and vaguely disbelieving, "You could get hurt. Dishonored. Killed. Don't you realize that?"

"Is the great Sima Zhongda worrying about me?" He replied with a teasing smirk, "I am not afraid. You will persevere and I just want to make life easier for you."

"You're insane."

"Stating the obvious, are we? My turn: you're in love with Princess Sun."

"Well you're- wait, _what_?!"

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"You must do what must be done, Sleeping Dragon."

"How astute, Grandmaster. It is fortunate that I actually know what I am to do."

"Then everything goes according to plan?"

"As Still Water intended, yes."

"Good. It would not do for you to fall victim to any of your enemies' ploys."

"As if there is anyone here we have any reason to fear. Grandmaster, we will succeed without anyone realizing it."

(A/N: Dundundun! XD That's all for now!)


	12. Chapter 12

(A/N: Hi! I'm back! And I have a 90% not-plot chapter! Because every rom-com needs one of these once in a while, right? Anyway, fluffy stuff and MUCH Zhang He ahead, so... *poses* FOR BEAUTY~~!! XD)

Cao Zhi was plotting. Shu's unexpected truce and his brother's random arrival had thrown him off, but he would work around that. He had to. There was too much at stake for him to surrender without a fight. And Zhi was Cao enough to predict, there was going to be a major fight coming.

Cao Pi was plotting. His one chance at success was in danger from a dozen different enemies, but he could work around that. Somehow. Alone. There were too many problems with working with other people. Everyone was his enemy. And Pi was just Cao enough to forget, he was his own nemesis.

Cao Wu was plotting. Her brothers were slipping into the spiral of madness that had consumed her father as well, but she could work around that. She always did. If she had learned anything, it was to change. And Wu was Cao enough to know, the changing winds could bring her good fortune.

Cao Ang was plotting. He had not expected to still care that much, to get so easily tangled up again in Wei intrigue, but he would work around that. Those were his orders. Failure meant loosing everything, and he wasn't about to let that happen. And Ang was Cao enough to realize, everything was falling into place.

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Shang could hear the argument outside her room. Zhang He's voice rang out clearly, at least.

"... something beautifully poetic and beautiful!" the man was rambling excitedly. His companion was barely audible, but Shang caught something about cue cards, which made her giggle despite herself. She pitied anyone being coerced into things beautifully beautiful by Zhang He.

"... graceless if you cannot say anything beautiful without assistance, and take that _thing_ off your head if you want to impress her."

"I _like_ my hat, you incompetent little moron, and this was all your idea in the first place!" Shang's giggles stopped the instant she recognized that voice. What would Sima Yi be doing seeking relationship advice?

"Well, you agreed to it and we made it all the way over here, so are you going to just turn around and leave?"

"No, you are. And she probably heard the whole thing."

"Well, that may just break the ice..."

"Just leave." Shang figured that was as good a time as any to open the door.

"Uh, hi. Lord Sima Yi, Lord Zhang He. Um..." She hesitated.

"Why do I even listen to that moron..." Yi muttered, before turning toward her, "Right... Princess? I was wondering... Well... There is a banquet tonight in honor of those fools from Shu, and I was planning... Er, that is not a good word to use..." Yi grimaced. Zhang He looked moment away from beating his head against the wall.

"Master Zhongda, it is not that complicated!"

"Oh, do shut up. I was _hoping_ Princess, that you would choose to accompany _me_ tonight."

"How hard are you trying to impress Zhuge Liang?" The question slipped from Shang's lips before she could stop it.

"Er, that is not entirely my intention," Yi looked severely uncomfortable for a moment, before he seized another opportunity, "Although I doubt there will be a single man in the room not impressed by you. It is rare that a warrior as strong as yourself is as lovely as you are..." Yi smiled. Shang stared. He blinked. All was silent for a moment, then Shang murmured.

"I don't own a purple dress..."

––––––––––

Shang, in fact, didn't own _any_ ball-worthy dresses. This fact was quickly remedied by every single other female in the castle, who, smelling scandal, sent over maids, makeup, clothing, accessories, and a lot of things Shang had never seen before.

"Uh, should I ask?"

"I doubt that, milady! Now let's make you pretty!" squealed an overly-peppy servant girl somewhere to Shang's left. The others agreed, and Shang found herself forced into a variety of outfits, most of which were uncomfortable and none of which covered very much. Clearly, that was fashionable in Wei.

"She look best in this one and the one with the feathers, don't you think?"

"The pink one was cute!!

"We still have twelve to go~!!"

"Uh, guys? This doesn't stay up..."

"It's supposed to be like that~! You look like a sexy goddess, Lady Shangie!"

"I really don't think that's good...."

––––––––––

Elsewhere in the castle, Zhen Ji was planning for the evening. Things were going poorly recently, and she hoped that the banquet would calm people even a little bit. Admittedly, that was less than likely. If anything it would add fuel to the fire. Ji sighed as she gazed into the mirror in front of her. She pretended to be interested in her maid's babbling about different sorts of hairpins, but her mind was miles away.

"So either jewels or carvings and phoenixes?"

"Carved, perhaps, Fen? The jade phoenix Lord Sima got me may match my dress best..."

"Oh, you are so clever Lady Zhen! I would never have thought of that!" Fen scampered off to get the hairpin and Ji allowed her mask of pleasant composure to slip and reveal her fear. She knew she was in danger: she had fallen out of favor with Cao Pi, the backup plan was falling through as Zhi had fallen out of favor with the court, and everyone was enamored with either the Southern Princess or Sima Yi. Or both. She would have to do something about that. Fen's footsteps startled her from her thoughts, and she hurriedly smiled at the girl.

"Thank you, Fen. You really are sweet."

"You pay me, milady," Fen answered with a gentle smile. Typical Wei.

"I know. Perhaps one of my dresses may fit you? You should come to the banquet. You are my favorite lady-in-waiting after all. I invite you." Bending the rules a little was worth it, Ji thought at the look of sheer joy on Fen's face.

"You do me a great honor! I'd love to! Thank you!" The girl looked like she could barely breathe. The more Ji looked at her, the better this crazy plan sounded. Fen was pretty, slender, with pale skin and hair the color of ink, much like her lady. Dressed in Ji's clothes, the two could be twin sisters.

"Here. I'm all dressed up already. Let's get you a dress, shall we?"

––––––––––

Love, Xu Huang decided, was something that could topple the most powerful empire. What lust could do to the kingdom of Wei, however, he was still unsure. Like most things in Wei, it made very little sense.

"I still can't see anyone putting Sima Yi and Zhuge Liang in the same room and _not_ expecting madness," Zhang Liao was complaining, trying to stash fifty-six daggers and knives – Huang had counted automatically – inside his formal robes. He was fighting a loosing battle.

"D'ya ever stop to think what'd some girl'd think tryin to undress ya?" That was Xiahou Yuan, looking over his comrades-in-arms with a mixture of disapproval and amusement. It figured.

"Do you ever stop to think about what may happen if we get attacked?" Huang replied, annoyed. He wasn't going to be getting undressed by _anyone_ with Shu probably having staked out the castle and half of Wei plotting conflicting coups. A few others began arguing the point back and forth, and Huang went back to figuring out how to stick a two-foot sword into his boot. Another loosing battle.

––––––––––

Sima Yi was a man of many talents. He could speak well, think quickly, strategize in ways that had him likened to immortals, and wield a weapon if he had to. Dancing, however, was not part of his skill set. At all. And it never would be. Which was clearly why he was letting Zhang He drag him in circles around his office.

"Junyi, this really is _NOT_ worth it. Really."

"You're really _not_ trying, are you?"

"Why would I be?"

"Because you need grace in all parts of your life and _OW_! That was my foot!"

"Let go of me, then."

"Never! You are mine!"

"Oh, _really_, Junyi?" Yi smirked up at his friend who blushed vividly.

"That came out oddly. Dear heaven, I should just stop talking."

"Probably. I cannot dance while laughing."


	13. Chapter 13

(A/N: Hey all! I'm back! And it's party time! Except, you know... plot happens. Read on!)

Shang was dressed, made up, accessorized, and barely able to walk. Clearly, this made her sexy. It was about time to get to the banquet, she thought, but of course Sima Yi was conspicuously absent.

"Hey, guys? Why are men such girls?" Shang asked, not really expecting an answer from the giggly Wei girls surrounding her. She didn't get one, aside from peals of half-crazy laughter. She hoped she didn't sound quite that maniacal yet. Suddenly, the laughter cut of.

"I hate to interrupt, but you left the door ajar. Are you ready, Princess?" Yi's voice was soft, with a hint of amusement. He sounded, at least to Shang's ears, a good deal less villainous than usual. The maids still scattered, leaving Shang to face him on her own.

"Uh, yeah. Um... I've been ready for a while..."

"Ah. As is often the case, I am the one falling behind," Yi said with a slight smirk, "Shall we?" He held out one pale hand. Shang nodded mutely. Yi looked _good_. Like, _good_ good. Dressed up, but not enough that Shang could point it out. Formal, but not enough to look awkward. And he was holding her hand and chatting about something simple. She wasn't sure if she was in heaven or hell.

––––––––––

Yi was a little surprised by the whole thing. He had noticed the princess was pretty – well, even if he hadn't, everyone else would have informed him of that, he was sure – but he had not expected her to emerge from her room looking like a lady rather than a girl dressed up in someone else's clothes. The effect had been spoiled the moment she had opened her mouth, but for a moment she had been... beautiful. Yi quickly shook his head to clear it of _that_ train of thought. Accompanying the princess meant he could keep an eye on her, and being accompanied by someone that distracting meant that no one would notice him. Everything would go according to plan.

––––––––––

Zhuge Liang was annoyed. He was smiling politely, speaking calmly, and spreading an aura of virtue and goodwill, but he was still annoyed. He was annoyed at Liu Bei for being stupid enough to force this alliance into existence. He was annoyed at the other ambassadors for trying to instigate conflict in the most obvious ways possible. He was annoyed at Cao Cao for throwing of all things a banquet and ball in their honor. He was annoyed at Sima Yi for making smalltalk with some oddly pretty girl in purple rather than giving his rival a chance to vent. But most of all, Liang was annoyed at Grandmaster Black Horn. That arrogant idiot was betting everyone's lives in a ploy to do something enlightened. It would work, of course; Black Horn wasn't the Grandmaster for nothing, but it was still annoying to have to play second fiddle to someone who was not even that much better than him. Liang took a long sip of tea. It was best not to dwell on things; once _his_ plan was in motion, he would surpass Black Horn and his fellows with ease.

"You see, every action must be based in moderation and virtue. If we act based on jealousy or petty emotions, we fail."

––––––––––

Fen was halfway between scared and euphoric. Wedged somehow between Xiahou Dun and Xu Huang, dressed in her lady's clothes, and passing herself off as the aforementioned lady was enough strangeness to last her a lifetime. Of course, this being Wei, the strangeness was only just beginning. Fen shivered slightly. At the other end of the table, a young-looking man in white robes fixed his eyes on her for a moment, his face unreadable. Fen stared back with her best imitation of her lady's inborn calmness.

"Weird, isn't he?" asked the man on Fen's left. Huang, she reminded herself.

"Just a little..." she admitted quietly. She had to keep in character, keep poised. Huang smiled gently at her.

"You look ill. Maybe you should get some air?"

"If you accompany me, general."

"By all means." They left surreptitiously. Even the man in white had turned his attention elsewhere in the brief moment that it took for Fen to slip away. Outdoors, the autumn air cleared her head a little. She had always preferred being outside.

"Thank you, general. The... The atmosphere in that room..."

"It must be difficult if you're not used to it," Huang said calmly, watching her reaction. Fen blanched. Had he seen through her so easily? Her lips moved, but she could barely find her voice.

"How--? Wha--?"

"Lady Zhen was sitting by the Cao family. You are clearly not her. What's your name?"

"Fen..." the girl whispered, barely audible, "Lim Fen..." The general's expression turned from friendly to suddenly tense at the sound of a twig breaking. He pushed Fen behind him and took a step towards the noise.

"Who's there?" Fen could barely make out the dim silhouette amidst the trees. Whe it spoke, the voice was a raspy whisper.

"Hold fire, general. I'm not your enemy."

"Then who are you?" Huang asked, his voice sharp.

"Heheheh... You do not recognize me?" asked the stranger, stepping into the small circle of lantern-light. He was a Wei scholar, or at least dressed like one, gaunt and weak-looking, probably from illness, with long dark hair that hung loose down almost to his waist and dark circles under his almond-shaped gray eyes. Huang's frown deepened.

"Should I recognize you?"

"Perhaps, perhaps not. You are Xu Huang, am I right?" the stranger smirked slightly. Huang nodded. "Then take me to your lord."

––––––––––

Back in the banquet hall, chaos had erupted. Cao Cao had, somehow, collapsed while everyone was looking the other way. Sima Yi had somehow pushed his way through the crowd until he knelt beside his lord, checking for signs of life.

"You can stop screaming now; he's alive," Yi snapped at no one in particular. He was not sure if Cao Cao's being alive was a good thing or not at this point, but the matter remained that he was alive, albeit icy cold.

"_WHAT HAPENNED TO HIM_?!?" roared what could only be Dian Wei.

"I don't _know_, you moron. Zhuge Liang--?" Yi turned to his rival, who shook his head, pale and more unnerved than Yi had ever seen him. Clearly, that was not part of his plan. Cao Wu was sobbing on her twin's shoulder. Zhi stared blankly, clearly not processing any of this. Pi had grabbed Ang by the throat and was threatening him in a low voice while the older brother protested his innocence. A chill filled the air, and Yi surpressed a shiver. A hand touched his shoulder.

"Master Zhongda, Gongming says that there's someone asking for Lord Cao Cao..." Zhang He sounded as scared as Yi felt.

"Send him to me. And make sure Cao Cao is tended to. I will not have things go _wrong_." They both knew it was too late for that.


	14. Chapter 14

(A/N: OMG guys, I have almost as many reviews as chapters! Wow! You rock! For your total awesomeness, have a plot-tacular chapter! Who is the mysterious stranger? You are about to find out!)

Sima Yi stormed down the hall, his momentary terror fast dissolving into fury. Who _dared_ set foot in the palace at such a time? Who _dared_, even by proxy, cause harm onto Lord Cao Cao without Yi's approval? It was with such lovely thoughts in mind that Yi flung open the door to the room where Xu Huang was holding the trespasser.

"_What_," Huang stood by the wall, a dagger held loosely in one hand, "_Do_," he was trying to console some girl, the trespasser was directly to her left, hidden in shadow, "_You_," Yi turned his accusing glare on the strange man, "_Want_?!"

"Heheheh... So, you do rule Wei now, Zhongda...?" rasped the man, for the second time that evening stepping into the light to reveal himself. Yi had been about to make a snappy retort, but his words lodged in his throat as he stared, utterly shocked.

"Wh-wha--? How--?" he stuttered incoherently. The stranger smirked.

"You've grown too..." he loped closer, looking Yi over with a more than a hint of amusement, "Heheh... I told you you'd be coordinated eventually, see? And I'd bet people have called you _pretty_, eh?" Huang's bad feeling about the guy hit a new high point.

"Hey, you! Three feet away from him at the least!"

"Heheheh. The boy has a voice, general, let him use it."

"... Ah... I-I asked you a question, trespasser, answer it." Yi's voice wavered slightly, but he steeled his jaw and glared at the man who dared make him make a fool out of himself so many times.

"Ah, yes. What do I _want_? I want, I want... to warn you. I know you recognize me, Zhongda. And I know that we both know I am not supposed to be here. And there are others..."

"Look, maybe he knows, maybe you know, but everyone else _doesn't_ know, and there are in fact f_our_ people in this room, so please stop being cryptic and enlighten us as to what's going on!" Huang interrupted loudly.

"And perhaps introduce yourself, trespasser?" Yi added on with a slight smirk, "You've gotten a bit ahead of yourself."

"Heheheh... If you insist. My name is Guo Jia. Styled Fengxiao. Does that clear anything up, children?" It did. Huang's eyebrows went up. The girl gasped with shock and stumbled away from Guo Jia-- further proof that she was no noble, were she, she would have fainted dramatically. Yi bit his lip.

"Prove it."

"If you insist... Which of your secrets would you like revealed? The reason you're loyal to Mengde? The way you acted when we first met? The reason you used to lose at chess? You probably win now, you must have learned _something_ along the path to power... Your first love perhaps? I rem-"

"I was never in _love_ with anyone. Tell me why I would lose at chess."

"Heheheh... Arrogance, coupled with childishness. You never expected a competent opponent, so you never paid attention to detail. You planned for a single, specific set of actions. No deviation. You took every single powerful piece your opponent had, and then got thwarted by the weakest, never knowing that a single grain of rice could tip a scale. Is that answer enough for you?" Jia fixed his weirdly gleaming eyes on Yi, who bowed his head, a little unwilling and still disbelieving.

"We buried you, teacher," Yi said softly, "I was there. I saw it. I saw you die, too. How is it that you are alive...? And now of all times..."

"Indeed..." Jia pulled a chain from beneath his robes to show the pendant at the end of it to his audience, "I know this is recognizable." Yi stared at the black metal spiral.

"Black Horn. So he _is_ behind this?"

"Who's Black Horn?" asked the girl, fear and confusion etched on her features.

"An immortal. It's a long story," muttered Huang, "Why?"

"That looks like... Well... It looks like the tattoo Grandfather Qiu has..."

"And he is?"

"This... this old man. He helps us sometimes... A-and he can fly, I saw him. He says he can deliver us from evil and tyranny... And I don't really get it but he's taken care of me and of mum and he got my brother a job in the army and he hasn't even gotten a scratch in three years!" Silence greeted this pronouncement. Finally, Jia spoke.

"Does Mengde know any of this?"

"He said Black Horn was haunting him."

"I need to see him."

"You can't. He passed out..."

"When?"

"A moment ago. Banquet."

"Zhuge?"

"There. But no."

"Others?"

"Zixiu."

"Great. Let me?"

"They're mine."

"I know."

"Go."

"Team?"

"For now."

(A/N: DUNDUNDUNDUN! Black Horn returns! And there is drama! And doom! And plot-relevant OCs! And Zhongda's old teacher! BTW, if you want more Guo Jia, check out my oneshot collection-- the first story there is about him and itty-bitty Yi~!)


	15. Chapter 15

(A/N: Heya guys! I'm out of school, so I'll be able to update more quickly now! But you're not here for my life story, just this thing-- on with the show!)

The four of them headed back up the hallway, back to the banquet hall, back to chaos. Sima Yi was, of course, leading the way, so it was he who rounded a corner too quickly and collided head-on with a butterfly-winged blur of pink and lavender.

"... Junyi. What?" Yi growled, disentangling himself from his panicked friend.

"Zhongda! I'm so glad I caught you and them and hi there and anyway dear heavens," Zhang He babbled, keeping a firm grip on Yi's shoulder, "Now it would be really graceless to threaten you at a time like this but what is going _on_?!"

"I have nothing to do with it. It was-"

"Well, explain to the generals Xiahou! They're convinced that you just tried to kill our lord and they have a damn good case and people already know you were plotting something-"

"_If I wanted him dead he would have died gallantly in battle and would have left a will proclaiming Prince Zihuan his heir and me the real power behind the throne!_"

"That makes sense but you're still in danger!"

"That- that's irrelevant right now. How is Cao Cao?"

"Alive. Xiahou Dun and Dian Wei are chasing off anyone who may come near, and Lady Bian is with him..."

"Good. The royal brats?"

"Miaocai and someone else locked them in the throne room to make sure they wouldn't cause trouble."

"Good. Shu?"

"Pang De and Xu Zhu are pretty much sitting on them. Zhuge Liang can't quite debate with a blade..."

"I suppose that would keep him in place for a while. Junyi, Gongming, you and Miss..."

"Fen."

"You and Miss Fen go check on the rest of the Cao family, and for the love of all things sane in the world lock Cao Ang Zixiu up somewhere and _keep an eye on him_. Fengxiao and I will deal with Zhuge Liang." Yi suited action to his words and vanished toward the banquet hall, dragging Guo Jia behind him.

"... _Fengxiao_?" Zhang He echoed, rising his eyebrows delicately.

"Uh, yes. Shall we explain as we walk?"

"That would be ah... beautiful, yes..."

––––––––––

Zhuge Liang did not get upset easily. Even on the rare occasion that something wasn't going according to plan, he was calm and rational, observing the world and, if needed, adjusting his plans to deal with every situation. He had been in the process of doing just that when the door burst open to reveal two very not-calm figures.

"Sima Yi. Are you going to tell your allies to release me? This is not a very comfortable position to be tied in, and I am certain my fellow ambassadors may benefit even more than I would." Liang watched as his opposite number, and the older man behind him, took stock of the room. Yi smirked.

"I think I like you better tied up. But yes, I see your point," he turned towards the door and directed some instructions to the guards, "This is not how we treat ambassadors! We can tie them up, but dangling them off of the ceiling is beyond the boundaries of propriety!" This was duly noted, and soon all five of the Shu scholars were seated in a way more conducive to proper conversation.

"Now that everyone is seated and comfortable..." began the older Wei scholar.

"We can begin," finished Yi with a hint of villainous glee.

"Now, we're all mature and virtuous adults here, so this does not need to be an interrogation per se if we all just cooperate."

"Simply put: we need to know _everything_ you know Black Horn. The truth would be useful to all of us." Liang didn't even have to glance at his comrades' faces to know they were scared out of their wits. He could feel it in the air: the palpable fear emanating form everyone in the room. Yi as well... He was honestly seeking help.

"What do you need to know? Black Horn is a Grandmaster of the Tao; he is not involved in the wars here," Liang spoke carefully. It would not do to reveal more than was needed.

"I need to know why he is attempting to destroy Wei if he is not _involved_!" A lesser man than Liang would have grimaced or groaned that Yi had figured out what he had not been supposed to figure out. As it were, he just looked curiously at his nemesis.

"Ah, so that part of his scheme was revealed? I suppose we can do without him interfering. I can assure you, I did not prompt his actions in any way."

"I am certain of that," the stranger spoke now, and much to everyone's surprise Yi stepped aside and let him, "However, I must press this issue," he pulled his pendant out again, "This is Black Horn's symbol, correct?" Liang frowned slightly. He could barely tell for all the magic it was radiating. The other man swung it gently at Liang's face, and he recoiled despite himself.

"Er, yes, it is indeed one of his symbols." What he didn't say was that it reeked of something just beyond Liang's sphere of influence and knowledge. It was almost frightening.

"And you know what this does, perhaps, Sleeping Dragon?"

Liang swallowed hard and murmured, "In theory," averting his eyes. He felt sick. He had known about the Grandmaster's plan, certainly, but seeing the results before him... his vision swam, his head spun. There was no way any of this was in keeping with _anything_.

"As we are now allies, Zhuge Liang, do you not think we should aid each other?" Sima Yi's voice cut through the mist that was settling over Liang's mind.

"Certainly... we must restore... fate..." Liang whispered, before he sank into a terrifying blankness.

(A/N: And here comes drama. And more plottage~! Clearly, fluff is not my genre. Anyway, review, guys! Feel free to throw any ideas you have for future chapters at me, no matter how random. Oh! Challenge teim~! I want pairings. I don't care how weird, I don't care how creepy, gimme pairings that you want to see semi-functional. If I can't put it here, it'll go into a drabble for my other 'story'.

Love you guys! Byebye for now! )


	16. Chapter 16

(A/N: Hello again! Welcome to the next chapter! Wherein stuff actually happens, lines are drawn, and Zuo Ci's plan begins... read on!)

Shang stood, shivering, her back against a wall, watching the crowd of confused and scared nobles before her. This was worse than the worst-case scenario she had prepared herself for before she came to Wei. This was-

"Sun Shang Xiang, right?" asked a woman's voice. Shang jumped.

"Y-yeah. What do you want?"

"I'm Guo Nuwang. I just wanted to... speak to you a moment." Nuwang smiled. It was not a nice expression. Shang suddenly realized that her own face bore a similar mask. How long had it taken to change her completely?

"Speak away, Lady Guo. What did you want to say?"

"Simply to express my condolences, Lady Sun. You must be in... shock."

"Ah. Indeed... Do you think Lord Cao will be all right? It is a... dangerous time for him to have fallen ill, don't you agree?"

"Quite so. I wonder what his assailant gains from this, Lady Sun. Any ... ideas?" Nuwang's soft, brown eyes gleamed dangerously. Shang met her gaze.

"None at all, Lady Guo. I have not been here long enough to fully understand the machinations of this court. Perhaps you could... enlighten me?" That got the desired reaction: a flash of fury on the taller woman's face. Nuwang was about to reply, when a commotion on the other side of the room drew their attention. Xu Huang and Zhang He had just entered, along with some girl - Zhen Ji at first glance, but no, she was cowering too much to be Zhen Ji -, and the three of them seemed to be looking for someone. Suddenly, faster than Shang could process what she saw, Zhang He struck, catching the man who had been trying to sneak past him and his allies to get out the door.

"You're not going _anywhere_," He purred, flinging the other man against the wall. It was at that moment that Shang got a good look at his face. _Cao Ang._

"What makes you think you can order me around? I am a Cao!"

"And what in the name of beauty makes you think that will get you anywhere? I take orders from Master Zhongda and no one else." The murmurs of fear that greeted that pronouncement were silenced by a glare from Xu Huang as he drew a sword.

"Everything will be all right, as long as no one _argues_. There is too much danger for people to be _arguing_," Huang intoned, as if he were casting a spell. People backed away. Some bowed their heads. No one seemed willing to disagree. The hair on the back of Shang's neck stood on end.

"Still no ideas, Lady Sun?" Nuwang snarled in her ear, "Even with your dear lover so prominently involved? This makes me think you are _lying_ to me." Shang shuddered. Cao Cao was possibly dead, she herself was a suspect, and Sima Yi had just, it seemed, thrown a coup d'etat of magnificent proportions. There was about one thing she could comment snappily on in this situation.

"He's _not_ my _lover_!"

––––––––––

Fen was doing her best to swallow her fear. She had a gut feeling that it showed on her face more clearly than if someone had painted it. She had been fine, well, mostly fine, up until she had seen the face of the _creature_ claiming to be Cao Ang. Where once there had been shining blue eyes, Fen could now see empty sockets, and the once handsome face was marred with horrid rotten marks. Fen had yelped and jumped back, but in the seconds she had not been watching, his face had returned to normal and whatever was pulling itself up from the ground was indistinguishable from the young prince.

"Grandfather..." Fen whispered, "How could you have done something like this?"

_"I act with accordance to heaven's way, dear child. What you see is a creation of this corrupt and villainous court. Let me aid you." Grandfather Qiu's voice echoed in her mind, calm and familiar._

"Aid me how? Grandfather... Lord Sima Yi said-"

_"Remember, my child, Sima Yi and his allies are a danger to the virtuous. Do not allow them victory."_ Fen frowned. She had heard that one a thousand times at least. This time she had a reason, the tiniest spark of a reason, to doubt him.

"Have faith in me, Grandfather. Heaven's will shall be done."

––––––––––

"... you have to go and knock him out with hell-knows-not-what and-"

"Zhongda, I wasn't trying to. We both know that."

"The point remains and _I don't know if he is hurt or what or how or_-"

"It's quite unlike you to panic this much over some ill done unto your enemy."

"He's not some enemy, he's _Zhuge Liang_!"

"My point remains."

"My point is that if _Zhuge Liang_ cannot face even a fraction of the magic involved without _fainting_, how do you expect me to be able to do this?"

"I would expect you to be rational and more prepared than he was. Also-"

"Do you even know what you're asking?"

"Heheheh. Zhongda, what has made you doubt yourself so? The Sima Yi I remember would have jumped at this chance..."

"The Sima Yi you remember may have had to _grow up_ while you were _dead_!"

"All that means is that you have gotten even better. I have faith in you, Zhongda."

"I am not a hero. You know that."

"Perhaps, if we are fighting against the will of heaven, we don't need a _hero_..."

––––––––––

(A/N: DundundunDUN! Or something. To be continued.)


	17. Chapter 17

(A/N:: Heya~! Sorry for the wait, guys... work got in the way. Anyway, this one's for the slash fangirls out there, mostly, so warning for flirting. It's got plot too though! I promise! Read on~!)

Cao Pi was, for lack of a better word, utterly terrified. In the course of an hour, his remotely rational and static world had practically imploded. And of course Sima Yi was involved. As always. Pi grimaced. There had long been talk of a coup, but he had not ever quite thought it would actually _happen_. Then again, the supposedly harmless Zhang He had just lobbed the supposedly _dead_ Cao Ang at a wall hard enough to leave a dent and declared the coup that was supposedly never going to happen after the supposedly healthy Cao Cao had passed out at a banquet. Things were going poorly. Pi edged closer to the door. If he could just get around Xu Huang while everyone was still distracted-

"And _where_ are you going, sir?" Huang was not an easy person to distract, clearly.

"I have to find Zhongda and find out what's going on." Well, it was true, if less dignified than Pi had intended. Huang grimaced slightly.

"I'm not allowed to let you out."

"But I've gotta, I mean, I must_ locate Zhongda_!"

"... How much harm could that do?" Huang mused, "Go. But be _sneaky_. You do not have permission." Pi was out of there before Huang could finish the sentence.

––––––––––

"... without even a plan or basic knowledge of anything and what are we even fighting against in the first pl-" Yi's muttered rant was cut off by the sudden appearance of the heir to the Wei throne in front of him.

"Zhongda. What the hell just happened?" The younger man sounded more scared than angry. Well, he probably had good reason for Ithat/I.

"Nothing you should worry about, milord. I have everything under control, so-"

"_I noticed that much!_ In case you didn't notice, _you just TOOK OVER_!! What do you think you're doing? I should have you executed! Until you die from it! And _react_ damn you!" Pi grabbed Yi by the shoulders to shake him furiously. Yi's face remained a calm mask, as always.

"Milord. Calm down. I can explain..." Yi said soothingly, resting one pale hand on Pi's shoulder, a gesture just familiar enough to make Pi shirk back, flushing.

"Explaining would be _good_, yes. If you can pass this off as good for me..." Pi trailed off, unsure as to what he would actually _do_. Yi pondered suggesting that he would be able of convincing his young lord _anything_, given five minutes, but quickly decided this was not the time.

"My reasoning is, milord, that in such a situation you and your siblings would be unprepared for having to deal in politics as intricate as this alliance with Shu. I would handle it in you name and hand over power completely when everything begins to run smoothly. For now, you can just relax and leave me to struggle out details in your father's absence... In the mean time, I need everyone's cooperation, which I am afraid I would have to get by force in some cases. But that does not concern you... I am afraid some may have taken this too far. Junyi in particular is... passionate... about my _cause_... If I must apologize for him _again_..." Over the course of this little speech, Yi had managed to back the younger man against the wall. The strategist smirked. It was a relief to know that he could still mess with his superiors' heads without exerting himself.

Pi stammered something about understanding the point, and Yi's smirk broadened. Once this all worked out, once all this undead nonsense was over, he was _never_ going to try to manipulate this moron again. It was just too _easy_.

"You have my ... gratitude, milord. These are difficult times for us all. I hope, when all of this is through," here he paused for dramatic emphasis -- really, why did anyone fall for this type of thing anymore? "When all this is through, that we might rule together..." Yi could barely believe that he had forced something that cliché and _sappy_ out of his mouth, Oh well. It worked, anyway.

"Of course... Zhongda... together. We would be unstoppable..."

"Precisely. However, there is one thing that needs attending to before we have a clear path, milord."

"_Zihuan_, if we are to be... allies? And what needs attending to?"

"Your brother, Zihuan. Cao Ang stands between you and the throne. He is the heir by the laws of primogeniture, as your father never officially declared _you_ his heir. Do you see where this would leave us?"

"... Yes. Is that how it must be...?"

"I am afraid so. Zihuan... It would be for the best. I... I have to explain something to you..." Yi pulled Pi's arm to make him move, "It is best we walk..."

––––––––––

Shang saw the door open a second time, this time to reveal an annoyed Sima Yi and a thoroughly freaked out and sick Cao Pi. This was perhaps a change for the even worse. Everyone fell silent, waiting for some sort of reassurance.

"Milords... Miladies..." Yi began, sounding for all the world like a properly brokenhearted vassal, "Certain facts have come to light that, while it saddens me greatly to say so, implicate one of our own in the attempted poisoning of our lord." Cue gasps of shock and horror. Fear and distrust tightened their grip on Shang's gut. This was _not_ good.

"Silence!" Zhang He's voice cut through the murmurs, "Let him finish!"

"I am... disappointed to have to say that this treacherous little fool is none other than Crown Prince Cao Ang!" If the reaction before had been dramatic, this blew the scales through the roof. People were yelling, arguing, throwing things. Guo Nuwang fainted outright. Xu Huang and Zhang He were trying to calm people, or at least surpress a riot. As the noise reached fever pitch, Ang tried to make a break for it, shoving through the crowd.

"Seize him!" Shang didn't even register that she was moving. Running. Sprinting like she used to when she was racing her brothers in Wu. She was small enough to dart between the nobles milling like confused farm animals and quick enough to close the gap between herself and her target before he reached the door. She was also strong enough to tackle him to the floor. In a dress.

"And _stay down_!" She knew she had him pinned. She knew there was no way in hell he was going to get away. And then she knew no more, as a vividly bright light encased her and she began to fall.

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(A/N:: How's THAT for progression, huh? Review guys, anon or not! I need more pairings!)


	18. Chapter 18

_A single candle glowed, filling the room with a painful light. Even this flame did not bring warmth to the Shang's freezing surroundings. A wind was picking up, icier still, and it whipped around the room, sending the everything swirling into a maddened spiral. The candle was snuffed out, but nothing changed. She raised her hands to shield her eyes._

_"Light..." she whispered_

_"Why?" asked another voice. The light dimmed as she turned to face him. He was swathed in shadows, a strange, comforting contrast to his surroundings. "Can you tell me why, Princess?" She knew him. Scared, silent, she reached out to him to take his hand._

_"It will not last," hissed a voice from nowhere and everywhere at the same time. Neither would she. She managed to grab part of his robe, pull herself toward him. She needed him. The light faded, and she found herself in blessed, familiar darkness. Wrapping her arms around him, she barely even realized she was laughing._

––––––––––

Yi was fairly sure the room was spinning. People were yelling, but the words didn't quite register in his mind. Where Cao Ang had been, there was just a twisting burn on the floor and the acrid smell of something that should not have been there. He tried to stand, but realized something was holding him down. He blinked. Everything snapped back into focus.

"Princess?" Her dress was singed and torn, and tears were streaming down her face, but she was _laughing_. "Princess, snap out of it!" He yanked her to her feet. She clung to him, unsteady and shaken. Clearly, she wasn't about to snap out of it any time soon. Yi glared around at the panicking nobles around him -- even _stupider_ than usual, he thought-- and deposited Shang in Fen's arms. He'd worry about _her_ later; Fen would notice anything more dangerous than shock.

"Well, what are you imbeciles standing around here for?! He may still be in the castle! Find him!" Cue running. Mostly into walls and closed doors and other people, but at least _something_ was being done. Some people even made it out of the room. Guo Jia pushed his way _into_ the room, followed by the Shu envoys.

"Gone?"

"Clearly."

"Going?"

"Help."

"Will."

"Now."

"Zhongda."

"What?"

"Eyes?"

"Of course."

"Careful."

"You too." Yi rested one hand on his teacher's shoulder for a moment. They had spent enough time together to understand each other perfectly. Jia nodded slightly and loped back out, poking seemingly random people to go with him.

"So, he was here..." Zhuge Liang's voice was as emotionless as ever. It was almost reassuring.

"Yes, for a little while."

"I see..." Liang examined the burn carefully.

"Can you trace it?"

"I... I do not think so... Grandmaster Black Crane surpasses me in magic..."

"Oh, _wonderful_. Do _you_ have a plan yet?" Yi snapped. Liang shot him a look of vague annoyance.

"It is an unexpected and delicate situation. Unless _you_ have come up with something masterful-"

"_You_'re supposed to be the genius here! Besides, I'm working on it."

"As am I. Perhaps I should be helping with wards?"

"You're not going _anywhere_ until this is figured out!" Yi fumed. Liang nodded calmly.

"Very well. I hope I can prove useful."

––––––––––

Eventually, people started filing back into the room, panic replaced by a dull, cold, fear that permeated the air. Yi glared.

"Anything to report?" Silence, disrupted by the shuffling of feet and the swishing of robes. Zhang He was suddenly very interested in the wall. Yi scowl deepened. Finally, one of the youngest scholars stepped forward.

"Th-th-there's n-no no s-s-s-sign," the boy began, stammering terribly. His face was getting steadily redder and there were some stifled chuckles behind him. "There-is-no-sign-of-him-sir!" the boy finally spat out.

"To be expected, I suppose. He could not stay here now that he is accused..." Yi's gaze softened despite himself as he looked the little scholar over, "Thank you... Deng Ai, isn't it? Styled Shizai?"

"Ye-yes sir..." Ai replied with a hesitant smile, watching Yi nervously through his long bangs.

"Good... good... Now, you morons," Yi turned his attention to the assembled nobles, "You _imbeciles_ have to stay on the alert. If anyone is incapable of utilizing that poor, often-malnurished part of the body know as the brain, by all means tell me so that I can _fix_ this. Other than that, be on the alert, report anything even remotely strange to me, and keep at least three eyes on the medics tending to Lord Cao Cao at all times. In fact, I want reports every six hours, no matter what," here someone tried to cut in, "And if I don't need to sleep, you don't either, so don't even _start_!" Cue respectful bowing. Yi seemed to have more control, he thought, over other people than he had over himself. He took a deep breath to calm his nerves. "Now clear out. You all have work to do."

––––––––––

Huang paced up and down the hallway, absentmindedly swinging his battle-ax at shadows. _Nothing_ was going to happen. Every sentient being in China could probably feel the fury emanating from Sima Yi's portion or the castle, and anything capable of self-preservation knew to stay far far away.

"Gongming! Are you in here?" Zhang He was clearly _not_ capable of self-preservation.

"Yes. What is it you want?" Huang turned to face his ally, "And it had better be relevant."

"Master Zhongda is being all-"

"He asked you not to bother him, didn't he?"

"Well, it wouldn't be beautiful to leave him alone in the state he's in!"

"Yes it would. It would also be rational." Of course, 'rational' was really a lost cause when it came to He.

"Ugh. So, have you seen anything suspicious yet?" Huang could _hear_ the pout.

"Negative. Have you?"

"What do you think?" He sighed exasperatedly, "And _what_ is Master Zhongda doing behind closed doors with Zhuge Liang?!"

"... Planning?"

"In bed?"

"You're a disgrace."

"You thought it too."

"Did not! Only you assume such things!"

"Oh, truly?" This was going to be a long night.

––––––––––

"You have disregarded the plan. Why?" The voice was emanating out of nowhere, deep and wise and echoing through the temple.

"Grandmaster, please! It wasn't my fault! Sima Yi-" Ang's voice was pleading, desperate.

"-was supposed to be accounted for. Everything was set up, you just had to play a role. Why did you fail?"

"Zhuge Liang was supposed to-"

"I did not ask about the Sleeping Dragon's mission, I asked about yours. Why. Did. You. Fail?"

"It was Sima Yi. It had to be. He knows more than he should... I... I don't know why. Guo Jia-"

"-has betrayed us. Why did you not destroy him?"

"I couldn't get close enough. Sima-"

"And why does he still live, child?" The voice was calm and deceptively fatherly, but Ang cowered further back, away from it.

"He is- he is protected...! There are too many people who would die for him! He is in control of everything-- I can't-!" At this point he broke down crying, "Grandmaster... I just want to live again..."

"Peace, my child. Once we are rid of him, Wei shall belong to the virtuous, and you shall have your life. However, it is clearly time to act more... forcefully. We shall have to make sacrifices in the name of virtue."

(Hi. Yes. Plot. Something. Sorry about the wait. SAT courses got in the way. I don't want to beg, but review? Please? Tell me what I'm doing wrong! Or right, that's always nice... But mostly what's wrong! I'd take flames and rants over nothing any day. Love you guys!!)


	19. Chapter 19

Yi paced back and forth. Sixteen hours, no change, no break in the tension. No rest. The princess was still in shock, some medic or another checking on her occasionally. Cao Cao was still unresponsive. The nobles were still on edge. The air still was burning. Impulsively, he walked to the door.

"Going somewhere?" Zhuge Liang asked, the merest hint of amusement in his voice.

"Checking the perimeter. I don't trust these idiots."

"I see. Ought I remain here or accompany you?" Trick question.

"Stay." Wrong answer.

"I suppose the two 'idiots' whom you do trust are stationed just outside anyway?"

"No. Just Junyi." Yi smirked. Liang almost winced.

"I see. You can rest assured I shall not attempt escape."

––––––––––

Shang was vaguely aware of the walls of the room the was in. They seemed to swim and sway and twist into a pattern of not-color that made her head hurt even more than it already did. Something was shrieking, a constant piercing note, behind her eyes. It blocked senses, rationality. It blocked words. Motion. She was dimly aware of a shadow falling over her.

"Who...?" she whispered. She couldn't focus. Something ice-cold touched her forehead.

_'Princess? Princess, nod if you can hear me._' The command sounded clearly in her otherwise painfully hazy mind. She obeyed, shifting her head slightly.

'_Good. I_ thought_ you were still there. I'm going to help you_.' Something was pressed into her hand.

"...paper...?"

_'Read this when you can.'_

––––––––––

The air outside was cool and crisp, hinting of the coming storm. From the balcony, Sima Yi could see the dark clouds massing on the horizon. In the gardens beneath him, summertime flowers were beginning to wilt. Soon, he thought, the north winds would bring snow and ice from lands beyond the wall emperors had been trying to build for dynasties. He sighed. Perhaps, if the wall were ever finished, it would keep out more than the barbarians it was to defend against, and block out as well the unforgiving ice that marked the winters in northern Wei and, according to legend, froze the hearts of its inhabitants. For a single, crazy second, Yi imagined himself as he could almost have been- a scholar from some less cruel time and place, less ambitious and more philosophical, standing beside a lord with eyes as green as Princess Sun's... Then he blinked, and the vision was gone, replaced by harsh reality. He took a deep breath, then turned around to go back inside. It was not a time or a place for foolish fantasies.

––––––––––

Zhuge Liang paced the chamber alone. He was almost nervous. He certainly had reason to be. If the Grandmaster had decided to consider him a traitor, he was unlikely to survive until the endgame. But. But he had nothing to fear, unless the Grandmaster was excessively paranoid. He had not acted out of line, after all. He stopped pacing for a moment, waiting for confirmation on that.

"The plan can still proceed. Nothing has been done that cannot be undone." No response came. "I shall not fail you, Grandmaster. No true agents of virtue shall." His voice was calm, his face blank, nothing at all revealed the almost scary realization that no one on heaven or earth was listening to him.

––––––––––

Cao Pi toyed with a dagger. The full gravity of the situation seemed to have sunk in already. Pi realized vaguely that he had stopped being scared somewhere around three in the morning. To be honest, most legitimate feeling had escaped him at about that same time. The world looked surprisingly clear to him.

"Big brother! What's on your mind?" Wu had bounced nervously up to him, chewing on her lip, "Sima Yi?" The suggestion along with the smirk on her face would have made him flush and stammer just a day ago.

"Hn. I simply wonder what will become of Wei," Pi said, his voice almost emotionless, "I will inherit the throne, and I do _hope_, little sister, that you and my little brother will refrain from plotting against me."

"What would you do to us if we did, Pipi?" Wu asked, almost serious for a moment. Was her childishness a coping mechanism?

"I would have you executed, as I would any traitor. Father was too soft." Pi finally turned his hard eyes to his sister, and she shirked back, afraid of the change in him. "Now go patrol or return to your chambers. Stop wasting time." She swallowed hard, bowed, then left, the bounce gone from her step. Wei would soon have a new king.

––––––––––

Fen slipped into Sun Shang Xiang's room almost silently and walked to the bed where the Wu princess lay prone.

"Still suffering, Princess Sun?" she murmured, "I wish there was something I could do to help..." She noticed the neatly folded note in Shang's hand. "What is this? A note from an admirer?" She hesitated only a moment before snatching the note herself. If it was something innocent, it would not do anyone harm if she read it, if not... well, she had spent long enough in Wei to know what to do with classified material. She didn't recognize the handwriting - a strange flowing stream of characters written in an ink that was such a dark shade of blue it was almost black.

"_My Child,_

_If you are reading this, then you are safe for now. I warned you before, harm will come to those who go against the order of things. You are a pure soul; if you allow for this corruption to spread, only harm will come to you and those you love. Wear this necklace, and I will be able to guide you wherever you are. Put your trust in me, child, not in those who would use you for their own ends, and do _not_ ever forget who you are. No matter how dark the night, morning always comes for the virtuous._

_Zuo Ci"_

Fen blanched as she read it. She could practically hear Grandfather Qiu's voice saying these words. She could also feel the old man's familiar magic radiating from the pendant. With a sudden fury, she threw the letter and the necklace into the fire that had been kept stoked in the fireplace.

"If you wish to save the world, Grandfather, do it without spells. You always said, 'the virtuous will triumph even if the odds are stacked against them.' Here are your odds. Prove... Prove your _virtue_!"

(A/N: And the plot actually continues! Yay~! ^^ So, yes. Review, please-- especially if there is something you would want to change or add. Please, guys? I love ya, but I can't read minds...)


	20. Chapter 20

(A/N:: And now for a change of pace, or at least of focus: have _yet_ another character to add to the mix! ^.^ And please forgive the lack of fluff/crack/romcom, the actual plot is overrunning it. Eeep!)

A youth with long black hair tied in a ponytail strolled down the corridors leading to Sima Yi's chambers. He walked purposefully and navigated the maze of secret passages with practiced ease and loped right by guards that had been stationed. He was the very image of a proud young man of Wei, except for the yinyang necklace he had hidden, tucked beneath his blue and violet tunic. He extended his hand towards the doorknob.

"You're late, Boyue. I expected you to show up dramatically when I had your _beloved_ Prime Minister tied up and at my mercy." The youth spun around in time to come nose to nose with Sima Yi. The older man smirked evilly at the look of fear on his face.

"What did you do to the Prime Minister?!"

"Oh, he's just fine _now_, I assure you... You missed all the fun. Now, why are you here?"

"_What did you do to him_?!" Jiang Wei yelled, seizing his one-time teacher by the shoulders. The door suddenly swung open behind them.

"I could not help but overhear this deligh-"

"Prime Minister! You're alright!"

"Yes, yes, I am. Of course. Sima Yi, please refrain from directing any more innuendo at my student, especially when it is clear you are making it up as you go along."

"He was?"

"You think I would allow otherwise?"

"_Imbecile_. I trained you for _four years_! You _know_ I have my standards!"

"That makes sense..."

"Do you have something to report, Boyue?" Zhuge Liang hastily changed the subject.

"Yes, Prime Minister... Um... I found a few possible sources... And um..." Wei trailed off nervously.

"Sources?" Yi cut in, "For Black Crane, you mean?"

"Yes, to have so much influence over mortals, he needs somewhere to channel his energy from. I sent Boyue to find possible places."

"... Damn you for thinking that far ahead."

"Do not anger yourself over this. I had more information than you did. Regardless, we might be able to narrow our choices down. Did you speak to that 'granddaughter' of his?"

"Of course I did!" Yi snapped. Maybe his tone was a little too harsh.

"... You did not, did you?" Liang eyed him wearily, clearly used to dealing with people who did not think for themselves.

"I did!" Yi repeated, "She grew up here in the capital. That is where that mystic first contacted her."

"Odd. Are you certain of this?" A frown marred Liang's usually serene face. Wei glanced worriedly at his teacher. "No, never mind, of course you are. You would not tell me otherwise. Boyue, continue."

"Yes, Prime Minister... There are six temples that I found which would be in the appropriate range but..."

"But they have no sign of ethereal involvement, do they?"

"Four do not, sir..."

"And the other two?" Liang pressed.

"There _is_ something there, but it is not the Grandmaster..." Wei gave his mentor a significant look.

"... Oh dear. That may be problematic."

"If one of those two temples is question," Yi began, looking like he really did not want to say anything, "Is the one in the southwest area of the Scholars' Garden," Wei nodded, nervously, "Then that is actually maybe my fault..."

"You tried to summon a demon in a Buddhist temple?" A normal person would have laughed or cried. Liang contented himself with staring at his rival in vague disapproval.

"I was _sixteen_! And bored. And nothing happened anyway: the monks adopted it and now it sweeps the temple for them." Yi noted the looks of disbelief he was getting. "You can ask them! It's name is Xiao Ha. I'm being serious."

"This is just ridiculous enough to be true. Very well. Where is the other questionable source?"

"It's outside the city limits to the north. I did not dare get close enough to view it properly. I did not wish to disturb the monks, they looked to be meditating..." As Wei spoke, Yi had leapt to his feet, snatched his fan and a few daggers to stow up the sleeves of his robes, and started for the door. Liang eyed him questioningly.

"I have information you don't. That temple had stood empty for as long as anyone can remember. Anyone who moved to destroy it or even clean it died under bizarre circumstances. If there is someone there now, we have reason to fear them. Jiang Wei, you shall accompany me there for reconnaissance."

"Why me? Surely there are more capable-"

"Because I do not care if _you_ die."

"Prime Minister! Please-"

"I have faith in you, Boyue. If there is something amiss in that temple, I trust you will be able to strike it down in the name of virtue."

"Y-yes Prime Minister..."

(A/N:: And I really really _really _can't write Shu characters. Also, evil temple is evil, and stuff. And the next chapter will be longer, promise. Is there anything you guys want to have happen? Any characters you want to have show up? Anything? Tell me, and I'll try my best to work it in.

Also: What's everyone's favorite pairing for SSX? Aside from the one I've got here, btw. Pairing with the most votes will... show up somewhat and make thinks awkward for people once the fluffy crack returns!)


	21. Chapter 21

(A/N:: So, this chapter is a bit longer. Onwards to the Evil Temple of Evil!)

Sima Yi hesitated at the gate, eying his old apprentice. Jiang Wei stared back with his best mimicry of Zhuge Liang's expresionlessness.

"Armor, you moron. Get yourself some." Oh. Right. Jiang Wei nodded and jogged off to get the armor he had stashed before his arrival. When he returned, he noted Sima Yi had swapped his hat for a helmet and was messing around with the straps securing a breastplate. Clearly, the older man hadn't done armor in a while. Yi noticed the boy's gaze. "I'm not suicidal either, you idiot. Now, let us proceed."

They did. The walk to the temple was oddly peaceful. Nothing and no one crossed their path, but there was something distinctly amiss.

"Um, Master Sima Yi...?" Wei mumbled, nervously poking the older man in the shoulder.

"I noticed. No animals. I told you there was something wrong at this temple, didn't I?" This was whispered, as they were already within sight of the meditating monks. The smell of incense filled the air, along with did the low hum of prayer wheels. "You go first. You're the warrior."

Wei gulped, then stepped forward into the clearing. The monks raised their heads in unison. "Um... I'm sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if I could..." He wilted under their silent stares. "I was just um..."

Another one glided out of the temple. Probably the abbot. He smiled-- a weird sort of expression that did not reach his yellow eyes. "Welcome, child of Shu. Are you here to see the source?" His voice was harsh and grating.

"Er, y-yes. How did you know?" All round him, the other monks rose from their meditation to encircle him.

"You have no other reason to be here, child of Shu. Be happy. We shall bring you to it!" Only his finely-honed warrior instincts saved Wei from the first attack. He dodged and leapt, trying to avoid the sharp talons the 'monks' were suddenly sporting. More of them poured from inside and around the temple, swarming him. They were forcing him up the steps, toward the center of the corruption. He swung his trident desperately, but it wasn't enough. He was getting overrun. Something hit him, hard. Before he fell, he managed a cry for help.

––––––––––

Still hidden, Yi watched what was happening with a feeling midway between horror and twisted fascination. Those creatures that were attacking Jiang Wei were outside of Yi's extensive knowledge of demons, and thus certainly something to be studied-

"_Help me_!" The boy's cry broke through Yi's thoughts. _Leave him. He already betrayed you, why help him?_ All things considered, Yi probably should have listened to the voice in head that time. It made a lot more sense than zapping his way into the center of a homicidal mob of probably-undead creatures controlled by a psychotic immortal out to destroy his kingdom.

"Idiot boy. Didn't Zhuge Liang teach you anything?" he snarled, hauling the younger man to his feet again.

"... I thought you didn't care if I died?" Wei managed between gasps.

"I don't. He would. Now help me." _I'd rather kill you myself._ Back-to-back, they tried to fight their way out, through an ever-growing crowd of the creatures. Together, they could hold them off, but not progress. Yi could see the red stain spreading from the boy's side. He was wounded, and clearly weakening. That wasn't going to help matters. He felt Wei stumble and caught him one-armed, vaguely aware that he had a bit too much practice at rescuing pretty boys.

"Get out of my way!!" A girl's voice rang out as the creatures were flung left and right by a flying red-and-gold blur.

"Kid. We're moving." Yi hauled Wei toward their rescuer. She grabbed him by the other arm, and together the three of them fled the temple grounds.

––––––––––

Once they were safely away, Yi called a stop to their mad dash. Jiang Wei needed a medic, after all, and running and being dragged with an open wound were generally bad. Their rescuer handed Yi the med kit she had brought along. Assured that his old student was no longer in direct danger, Yi relaxed enough to recognize who had saved them.

"_Princess_?!" he gasped, floored for a split second before he contained his astonishment, "Ah. It is good to see you awake. Thank you for coming."

"I protect my friends," she replied quietly, "That's how we do things in Wu."

"I see. You have my gratitude, Princess-"

"Shang." She corrected.

"Sun Shang Xiang," Well, it was a little better, "I shall repay you in full some day. Does anyone at the castle know you are gone?"

"Uh... They probably do by now."

"Well, the search party should be here soon, then. Zhuge Liang will know where we are." No sooner where the words out of Yi's mouth when a small contingent of Wei palace guards rounded the bend in the path. They scowled. Wei winced. Shang _waved_. The three were _escorted_ back to the castle.

––––––––––

"Zhongda, I'm not even going to ask you to explain the circumstances," Guo Jia grumbled, staring down his old student and said student's new partners-in-stupidity, who were currently kneeling on the floor of the small chamber.

"Well, that's simply _wonderful_, because-"

"_Be quiet_! I won't ask you to explain, I'll just yell at you generally, because you haven't learned a _thing_ in ten years, have you?"

"I have learned plenty! You just haven't been around to see it!":

"Oh, certainly. And then you run off and practically get yourself killed because you want to prove something. What did you prove? Hm? Enlighten me!"

"Well, I proved that Princess Sun is a personified deus ex machina, that the temple north of the city was Black Horn's source in the region, and that there are possibly many kinds of undead things capable of running around," Yi explained as viciously as he dared, "Does that count as _enlightening_?" Evidently it did.

"And you in your eternal wisdom walked right into it?" It was clear to all who listened that Jia was holding himself back from either banging his head on the wall or hitting Yi with something that would leave a mark.

"It was that idiot boy's fault!" Yi point at Wei, who mumbled something and tried to shrink into the floor.

"You let him." Stating the obvious.

"I knew what I was doing! He didn't!" Defensive, almost childishly so.

"You could have _died_!" Despair more than paranoia. Yi flinched. For the first time in a long time, a look of guilt flickered across his face.

"Lao Shi... You... You know I don't die that easily. I foresaw the rescue, even. And as you can see there has been no lasting harm done." The usual arrogance had returned to Yi's voice, and he pulled himself to his feet. Jia shook his head, pride in the younger man's abilities warring with rather more reasonable aggravation at his antics.

"I suppose not. From here on in, however, do try not to walk headfirst into the problem, alright? Leave that to warriors."

"Duly noted, Master Fengxiao, duly noted."

(A/N:: And what they will be fighting shows itself! Thoughts? Concerns? CAPSLOCK RAGES ABOUT ACCURACY? Hit me with them! Oh! And the pairing poll is still open; so far I got all of one vote, and that was for Liu Bei. So, if you want Shang paired with someone else, review!)


	22. Chapter 22

(A/N:: Ok guys, another chapter~ This one has plot too! It also takes an axe to some OTPs. Be warned.)

Zhang He paced back and forth along the hallway he had been instructed to guard. Xu Huang leaned against the wall, trying to ignore him.

"Junyi, for heaven's sake! Do plan to to wear down the floor?" Huang snapped, finally, "Or just your pretty new shoes?" Now _that_ got He's attention.

"Oh, do go be manly elsewhere, Gongming! I'm _worrying_ here!"

"I can tell. Zhongda can take care of himself. Calm down."

"_No he can't_! Not if it comes to fighting! Not if it comes to something he doesn't know inside-out! He needs me... or at least _somebody_ to watch his back! If he's hurt I-"

"Why do you people worry about me?" Yi asked, smirking as he entered the scene. His robes were torn in places and streaked with an unidentifiable grime, but he walked purposefully. Mission, evidently, accomplished. He's flying glomp of joy at his return was canceled in its early stages when Sun Shang Xiang and Jiang Wei rounded the corner behind him, looking equally roughed up and a lot less... whatever else Yi was being at the moment.

"... Master Zhongda? While I hate to be the graceless intruder... _what happened to you three_?" A moment of silence greeted that question as the three exchanged glances. Finally...

"Zombies," said Shang.

"A lot of them, in the temple," Wei added, pointing vaguely in the direction they had come from. Huang raised an eyebrow.

"_Zombies_, milady?"

"Yeah!" She glared at him. Yi grimaced.

"You two fools would do well to believe me. You'll likely have to kill some soon." That last phrase made He's eyes light up. He was always willing to kill in the name of beauty! In fact, he had been in the process of the voicing that opinion when he realized that Yi and his companions had walked straight past him and through the door leading to Yi's quarters. The lock clicked behind them.

"Gongming? Do you-?

"No. No, no and certainly not. That subject is now closed. Why don't you figure out the least messy way to kill a zombie?"

"True, it would not be beautiful to get guts on my clothes..." He took the bait. At least he would be occupied for a few hours.

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"At least..."

"What?"

"Prime Minister..."

"Enough. I need time to think..."

"_You_ need time to think?! I've got a kingdom to run!"

"As do I. Long distance."

"You have _backup_!"

"... Do you sleep? Ever?"

"_How is that relevant_?"

"Because you should not faint in the middle of running a kingdom, Sima Yi."

"But Prime Minister...!"

"Listen to that fool child! I do not need _you_ worrying about me too!"

"Very well. Perhaps you ought to listen to others occasionally as well."

"That would be useful for _you_, not me."

"Hence my suggestion."

"You're losing your touch."

"Am I?"

"... Yes?"

"No."

"Prime Minister...?"

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Shang scowled from the side room the strategists had shooed her into, and pressed her ear harder against the door. The conversation so far hadn't been very enlightening: just a summary of their little adventure, followed by some hopeless bickering, interspersed with Jiang Wei trying to act grown up. Yay. At least no one in Wu was quite this hopeless at conversation. Not even-

"Yo, Shang!" She whirled around at the stage whisper. A familiar tattooed figure was leaning through the opened window.

"Xingba?! What are you-?"

"Saving ya! Duh. What's up?" The pirate climbed into the room for seemingly the sole purpose of poking her.

"Keep your voice down! Sima Yi and Zhuge Liang are in the next room over!"

"I know," Gan Ning grinned at the look of surprise on her face, "The old man told me."

"Who else is with you?"

"Buncha people. The old man, Bofu, Gonji. Yeah."

"I hope no one got caught..."

"We know what we're doing, Shangy. We won't get caught by some freaks from Wei. Let's go!" Those sounded like famous last words.

"Butbutbut! Sima Yi-" How in heaven's name was she going to explain _this_?

"It's okay! I've gotcha!" Ning wrapped an arm around her shoulders, grinning hugely, "He comes after us, I'll punch him!" That wasn't really the reassurance she wanted, but it was better than nothing. After all, she reasoned, it was just the air in Wei getting to her. As soon as she got home, everything would be back to normal.

She hoped.

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Meanwhile –isn't there always a meanwhile when there is a brilliant plan?– Sun Ce slunk through the darkened halls of the palace alone. He had to clear an exit for his sister and the others, which meant, according to Lu Meng, "isolate and immobilize the enemy generals". To Ce, however, it meant "sneak up on them and hit 'em until they fall over". That was easier said than done however. Wei generals, much like high school girls, traveled in packs. There were always two or three at least, muttering to each other about something-or-other, swinging heavy weapons randomly at shadows and comparing biceps. Oh, and _un_like high school girls, most of them were rather huge and imposing. Great.

"Hey there~!" A girl's voice rang out behind him cheerily. Trying to play it cool, he turned to see who it was. The girl looked young, maybe Xiao Qiao's age, and she was dressed in blue and gold. Actually, if it wasn't for the fact that she was rather tall and had dark hair, she could have passed for Xiao with the wrong color scheme.

"What's up?" She was _cute_, and not _as_ off limits as his oath brother's wife.

"You're new! I like!" Oh, right. He had a job to do.

"Wuxing, who are you talki-" another woman rounded the corner. She was at least five years the cute girl's senior, but she was, –no other way to phrase this– drop dead gorgeous. She looked him over. "New, huh?"

"Yep~!" Wuxing giggled. The older woman smirked evilly.

"Come take a _walk_ with us, stranger..." Da was going to kill him, even if these two weren't. Which meant, Ce reasoned, that he could go out with a bang...

(A/N:: Ok, so I have no clue what happened in that last part. It wrote itself. I swear!!

To clear things up about the pairing poll: I love Zhongda too. But, guys, the point of the poll to get non-Zhongda pairings for her, ok? I need tension~ Give me someone who can crash their first legit date or something, ok? It's a romcom at heart, so Random guys chasing Shangie is a good thing. xD Oh! And random anon-- That's a cute idea. I'll work it in later on, ok?

And now I will be annoying, but please bear with me: I love my reviewers. A lot. And I know that a decent number of people read this thing. So, please please please, guys, review. I want two for this chapter, ok? Anons are loved, signed reviews are replied to. Suggestions are used. Just drop me a line about something you want to see... I mean, the poll is just as good a reason as any, right? So yeah. Please?

Wow, long tangent is long. Sorry. Love you all! You rock! xoxo)


	23. Chapter 23

(A/N: HOLY COW I GOT THREE REVIEWS FOR THE LAST CHAPTER-THING I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH. Have another chapter. It has... Well, read for yourselves. Also, school started up recently, so updates will be less common due to 6 AP courses eating my soul. Sorry~ I'll try to post as often as I can though!

Also: sorry for posting and reposting and generally failing at this chapter. FFN is trying to kill it a bit. ^^; Hopefully, this is going to go up properly. )

Having been a warrior of Wei for a rather long amount of time, Zhang He had probably walked in on everything one could possibly imagine and a a few things one could not. Despite this, He felt almost a thrill at the prospect of revealing the identity of the mysterious man he had seen whisking Shang Xiang across the courtyard. He hoped it was some lover of hers from Wu-- that would make it all the easier to send her away, or better yet, get rid of her...

"Xingba, someone's gonna see us!" she hissed, somewhere in front of where He hid. _Xingba_? Now things were getting _interesting_.

"Chill. There's no one around, Shangy." Oh, yes, He knew that voice.

"You don't get it! It's Wei! There's always someone around!" At least she had learned something.

"Shangy, what's up with ya? It's like ya don't wanna go." Oh, _no_. She had to go. She absolutely _had_ to. If she spent any more time in Wei, she would... Well, He wasn't exactly sure what she would do, but it was likely to be bad for all parties involved. Especially if she stayed that close to Master Zhongda.

"Of course I wanna go! I just think we should be careful. Walls have ears here..." He walked closer. It was a talent, and a rare one at that, to be able to walk silently in high heels.

"Whatever. They don't talk, do they?" Gan Ning hefted his sword and rested it against his shoulder. Overcompensating...? He decided that it would be a good time to make himself known.

"Actually, they speak quite beautifully!" Both of the Wu warriors jumped at the sound of his voice. Shang tried to dodge around him and run, while the ex-pirate swung the sword viciously, trying to land a hit. It was almost _too_ easy to spin out of the way, trip her, and capture her. Royal meat shields really did work beautifully. "Now, what are you two up to, hm?"

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"-And I won't let you out until then!" Yi snarled, slamming the door shut and locking it with three of the nine keys he always carried around. He took a deep breath and looked around. Xu Huang was still standing where he was supposed to be standing but... "Where's Junyi?"

"Said he saw a 'thing of true beauty' or something out the window and ran off after it," Huang reported. Yi scowled.

"Did he specify?"

"No. Likely some idiot decided to take his shirt off in the courtyard." Well, that did sound like something that would make him run off like that. Yi was not convinced.

"I'll check something. One moment." And thus he stepped through a hidden doorway behind a curtain – Huang briefly wondered if it was lavender or mauve; He had explained the difference, but Huang hadn't been paying attention – and vanished, only to reappear a moment later, very much annoyed.

"Is something wrong?"

"_I_ must be losing my touch. The princess got loose, undoubtedly with some old comrade of hers. That must have been what Junyi saw." A sudden change in expression, from annoyance to amusement. "Well, it's _Junyi_. That poor intruder can't have gotten far."

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Guo Nuwang was _not_ amused. Probably, had she known the whole truth, she would have been even less amused, but a lot more afraid. As it were, she was fuming. The castle and its inhabitants had far too many secrets, and those secrets were getting on her nerves. A girl crossed her path, hurried and nervous.

"Hey, you." The girl's head jerked up. She was a pretty thing. Probably one of Zhen Ji's maids.

"Yes milady?"

"Has the Prince Zihuan returned from his _walk_ yet?" Nuwang snapped. The girl went deathly pale.

"N-no milady..." she stammered, "W-when did he leave?"

"Half an hour ago. He's usually back by now..." Her panic was a bit contagious, "The woods can't be _that_ interesting, after all," she glanced at the girl, "Right?"

"I-I'll get someone to go after him! Um... Just in case!" the girl almost shrieked as she fled. Nuwang shivered. How many secrets were people keeping here?

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The forest was oddly cold. It was still technically summer, after all-- Cao Pi had no reason to be shivering. Yet, it was cold. And dark. And silent except for the occasional rustle of drying leaves. Pi glanced around. And he was alone. And, it worried him to admit this, even to the empty air, he was a bit lost. He had probably gone through this particular part of the woods twice already...

A gust of wind picked up, making his cape billow behind him and his long hair... get tangled up in a low-hanging branch. Pi grimaced. As usual, Yi had been right-- he needed a haircut. It took him a moment of intense concentration to get his ponytail free. Behind him, a twig snapped.

"Show yourself! I am in no mood for games!" Pi called out, hoping he sounded mature and authoritative. Someone -- or some _thing_, Pi thought -- chuckled from among the trees. The laughter spread, revealing him to be surrounded.

"Games, little prince?" came a mocking voice from nowhere and everywhere at once, "We are not playing games..." The creatures -- for they were certainly not _human_ -- stepped out from their hiding places, still cackling madly. Pi drew his swords.

"I am not a _child_! Whoever you may be, I can kill you," he dropped into a fighting stance, "And your minions!"

"Brave words, child. Your father spoke like that too, before we dealt with him." A glowing figure appeared at the very edge of Pi's field of vision. He spun around to strike him, but the stranger remained constantly behind him.

"My father was _weak_! I am far stronger!"

"You poor foolish boy..." Hands gripped his shoulders. "And who do you think drove your father to such a state...?" Pi struggled. He couldn't move right... "That's right. Me. And with you and your father gone, control of Wei will pass to someone worthy..." Pi's vision was blurring, but he could still make out the figure that stepped out from among the creatures. _Ang_. Pi's swords had fallen to the ground somewhere along the way, and he couldn't even feel his limbs anymore. No way of fighting back. At least, before he died, he would have one more act of defiance.

"Even if you kill me, Zhongda will have your head!" Pi snarled, before the world went black.


	24. Chapter 24

(A/N: ... Hi? Anyone there? Sorry I've been dead for so long; class ate my brain and my free time. Anyway, here's the next chapter~)

The search party fanned out through the woods, led by a good portion of the extended Cao family, and, of course, Sima Yi himself. If there was any sign of him, they would find it. Xiahou Dun scanned the area with an impassive look in his eye. There was absolutely no sign of the boy.

"General Xiahou?" A pale hand touched his sleeve.

"Yes? If there's something you want to say, say it, Sima Yi." The strategist's eyes were fixed on a point somewhere to the left of them.

"Could you come with me? I think I know where he could be." Yi sounded worried. Not a good sign. Dun nodded shortly and followed him. If his cousin's son needed saving, Dun would trek all the way to hell to do it. He owed that much to Cao Cao.

As they walked, the air grew colder. An odd, animal-like cackling could be heard in the distance. Yi swore under his breath and broke into a sprint. Dun drew his sword and set off after him, soon outpacing the younger man.

It must have been a dramatic scene for any invisible spectator. Dun charged into the clearing, decapitating three of the creatures that were heading for his nephew to in one go. The others turned to go after him, and soon met a similar end on the edge of his blade. More were in the process of pouring from among the shadowy trees when a number of well-aimed arrows pinned them down. Dun cut their heads off too, for good measure, before making his way over to Cao Pi's limp body. Xiahou Yuan and Sima Yi had beaten him there.

"Is he alive?" Dun had never really been one for beating around the bush.

"He has a pulse." Yi's voice was dull, and he was staring blankly at the ground.

"Means he's alive. C'mon. We gotta get him to the palace." Yuan picked the youth up, then shuddered, "Damn. He's like ice..." he muttered. All the more reason to bring him back home.

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Yi walked in a daze. How had everything gone so wrong so quickly? As much as he had mocked Cao Pi, he had thought well of him. A worthy heir to a worthy lord, just young. A king in the making, or an emperor, even. But now... Yi shivered at the unbidden memory of icy skin and blank features. The same image that had haunted him since Cao Cao had collapsed at the feast, but now with the face of a child.

"I won't lose him." Yi didn't really know whom he was assuring of that. A fire was burning in his mind, behind his consciousness-- a flame of determination and righteous anger. Black Horn, whoever, or whatever, he was, was going to _burn_.

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Back at the castle, all hell had broken lose the moment after the search party had left. A veritable army of the undead creatures had poured inside, clawing through doors and windows and attacking everyone they could get their hands on. Mayhem reigned for about thirty seconds, then the idea of 'invasion' overtook the idea of 'holy shit zombies', and random people started yelling orders that everyone else decided to follow. It was Wei. People didn't panic in the face of invasion.

No part of the castle was spared the mob, however, and that included the hall where Zhang He had cornered his prey. It was, altogether, a bizarre and rather graceless coincidence that the zombies had poured in just as He had finished tying up the two Wu warriors. He _never_ got finish interrogations himself.

"You two sit there. I'll handle this, and _then_ we'll talk." It wasn't like they could argue, at least, being tied up and gagged rather tightly.

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Despite everything -- ie. the failed escape, being tied up, zombies, Gan Ning, etc.-- Shang couldn't help but be in awe of her captor. Zhang He had gone from a slightly crazy but nonthreatening spaz to a warrior certainly worthy of his position in the blink of an eye. He moved with astonishing speed and grace, as though the flashing claws on his hands were just an extension of his body. He sliced through the horde with with an almost serene expression his face, practically dancing through the gore around him.

Suddenly, one of the creatures made a grab for the sash around He's waist. He turned and struck, decapitating it in one swift motion as the rotten contents -- for Shang did not want to acknowledge that grayish-green ooze as blood for the sake of her own sanity -- splattered around him and over...

"_My beautiful shoes_!! You little bastards! I _liked_ those shoes! _Master Zhongda_ got me those shoes!!" After that, the zombies clearly stood no chance. The hall was soon littered with shredded, un-undead corpses. If her hands had been free, Shang would have applauded. Suddenly, the door crashed open to reveal... nothing. Zhang He caught himself mid-stab and looked around curiously.

" Heheheh... Asking if you are alright would be utterly useless right now, wouldn't it?" a hoarse voice asked from a good distance away from the door.

"Master Guo, my shoes are turning gray, my sash is ripped, and I have rotten guts in my hair. _This is not beautiful_!!" He took a deep breath. "And now, if you don't mind, I'm going to take a shower. Put those two somewhere where there aren't any ugly dead things running around."

"Of course. Are there any other Wuists around?"

"Three. Sun Ce, Lu Meng, and Ling Tong. Hopefully they have been eaten. If I find them, I shall knock them out. Farewell." And with that, He leapt gracefully out a window. The other man glanced after him, shrugged, and picked his way toward Shang and Ning.

"So. I'm going to let you walk, because unlike him, I can't haul you to the dungeon. Zhongda will be back soon, so I'll let him deal with you then," he explained, loosening the ropes binding their legs, "And don't even think about running away. I taught Zhongda all he knows."

It was a rather scary thought.

(A/N:: Guys? Please review... Reviews make this overworked highschooler very happy. Did it suck? Did it make you laugh? Did it make you squirm? Anything?

Oh! And any requests for who saves whom from zombies? Awkward tension like that is always fun, right?)


	25. Chapter 25

(A/N: Hey all. So I actually got around to writing more for this thing! Cool, right? It's only been like... two months? Sorry about that. School's being merciful now, though, so I may actually be updating for a bit. xoxo)

Zhen Ji had had her affairs interrupted by a great many things, but having her threesome interrupted by her rival being chased by a horde of drooling undead beasts certainly took the cake. Her lover jumping out of bed nude and starting to beat up on said undead beasts with a stick certainly counted for something as well. It was a sign that one had lived in Wei far too long, she decided, when one responded to such a situation with an analysis of the nude man's muscle structure and fighting technique.

"Kick their asses, cutie~!" Wuxing, of course, had been _born_ here. Poor girl. 'Cutie', of course, obliged anyway. He did fight well. Nuwang hesitated a moment, then plopped down on the bed beside Ji.

"Good show."

"Indeed."

"Does he have a name?"

"Nope."

"Pity."

"Yep. After today, he won't exist."

"Lucky for you, hm?"

"Unlucky for _you_, hm?"

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Ling Tong was, to put it mildly, screwed. Not that he'd let on, of course, but he was currently crouched in a locked storeroom, hiding from either the rampaging zombies trying to kill everyone or the rampaging Wei generals trying to kill the zombies. Tong sighed and blew a strand of his long hair from his face. At least, he thought, Gan Ning was equally screwed, if not moreso. After all, he was out there, facing the horde, trying to save Shang Xiang. And, idiot that he was, he probably had gotten lost or something. Tong shook his head to rid himself of the mental image of the pirate crying for help as he was being torn to shreds. Somehow, it was not pleasant. Outside Tong's sanctuary, the gargling shrieks grew louder and more piercing as the zombies converged. Whoever was outside the door was not doing well. With a groan, Tong grabbed his nunchucks and straightened up.

"Epic fail, here I come," he grumbled as he unhooked the latch on the door and prepared himself to fight. These guys were gonna _owe_ him.

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"Stab straight, ya freak!" yelled the taller boy, flailing his spear any which way but straight himself. Deng Ai didn't even dignify that with a reply, although that was mostly due to being to scared to articulate anything. It seemed like for every zombie they stabbed, two more popped up. Not that the one they stabbed actually died, most times. His companion, Zhong Hui, had given up on form and was now whacking at random, making little noises of terror. He had a point. They were going to get eaten. To death. Badly.

Oh, and now those things were coming in through the windows. Wonderful. That was just the icing on the cake.

The door to the storeroom opened a crack. The cake now had sprinkles. Suddenly--

"Let's get this over with!" A warrior in crimson charged out of the storeroom and began laying waste left and right with a decent amount of flair. Ai froze, caught between wearing-red-run-away and has-a-pulse-stay-close. The latter won out when the warrior _lifted him up_ to get him out of harm's way, before sending everything zombie within seven feet of them flying into the air and landing with crunches that indicated that they weren't getting up again.

"Dude, who _are_ you?" Hui was always blunt with such things.

"The name's Ling Tong," drawled the tall man, looking them over with a hint of disbelief, "Don't tell me Wei's recruiting kids now?"

"W-we... w-w-w..." Ai felt his face burning again. How was he going to get anywhere if he couldn't talk to important people?

"We're not recruits! My father works here, and this dork and me are studying to be somebodies." Well, Ai certainly was studying. His writing was praised by even the most high ranked scholars, and rumor had it that even Sima Yi had something good to say about him. As for Hui... Well, it was good for him that his father worked there.

"Ookay. If you say so. I'll be going that way now. Try not to get killed, okay?" Good advice, no matter what color one wore. Ling Tong set off around the corner, and that was that. Ai looked at Hui. Hui looked at Ai.

"H-he... He's um... He d-doesn't work f-for us, d-does he?" Ai managed after a minute.

"Ya serious?"

"Y-yeah...? I th-think..."

"And ya let him go?" Oh. Oops.

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Fen had never run that fast in her life. To be honest, she had never run very fast at all before that day, being delicate and ladylike and proper and whatnot. However, she had never been faced with, and subsequently _chased_ by, anything even remotely as creepy as the zombies. And that was including, she thought wryly, wannabe scholar types who hung around trying to get the attention of any pretty young thing that walked by. At least _those_ listened to threats.

She rounded a corner franticly, realized there were more coming right at her, and careened down another hallway. One of these haad to lead out...

Suddenly, strong hands gripped her arms and pulled her aside. She shreiked and started kicking, as all proper delicate ladies-in-waiting in Wei knew to do.

"_Unhand me!_ Or I will-!!" Honestly, Fen wasn't sure how she would have finished that sentence had her captor not hefted her up to the rafters and instructed her to grab hold. Once she had steadied herself, she got a better look at the guy.

White headscarf, a half dozen expertly handled weapons, and a distict lack of a battle cry gave him away. _Xiexie, General Xu Huang_.

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Huang wondered briefly when his position in life had gone from accomplice-to-treachery to knight in shining armor. Probably, he thought, right about the time magic got involved in the whole thing. The girl, Fen, was safe out of the zombies' reach, at least, and the zombies were having difficulty getting back up after he whacked them in half. Glass shattered behind him. Were they coming in through the windows now? Huang glanced over his shoulder to assess the situation, only to find a man in red and gold armor impaling zombies on his pike.

"General Lu," Huang greeted stoicly, taking out five zombies in one sweep of his ax.

"General Xu," replied the newcomer with a curt nod, twirling his weapon and sending six zombies flying. Blank faced, Huang struck down seven. Lu Meng got eight. Neither was immature enough to admit it, but it was _so on_.

(A/N: And that is that. Zombie madness. Next chapter is fanservice. Somebody gets kissed, someone makes a confession, and someone is fully honest. Ciao! Review with guesses as to who is whom!)


	26. Chapter 26

(A/N: Uh, wow I haven't updated in a while. On the up side, that mans I'm actually passing all my classes at school, so yeah. I had a long weekend, so I have like... three more chapters set for you guys. So, uh... please don't eat me? Have an emotiony chapter! And mandatory slash warning, even though nothing happens.)

By the time the search party reached the castle, the anti-zombie battle plan had been put into action. As was usual in Wei, once a plan was put into action, the end result was guaranteed. The brothers Xiahou didn't even have the chance to rack up proper kill counts before the castle was once again only inhabited by the properly living. And Guo Jia, who caught up to his old student as soon as the coast was clear.

"Zhongda. What happened?" Sima Yi's face was blank and his yellow eyes were fixed on the ground, but the air around him seemed alive with a dangerous energy.

"That bastard got Prince Cao Pi," Yi stated, his voice a tone lower than usual. Jia's eyes widened.

"I see. I will tend to him personally." The younger man nodded slightly. Jia continued. "Some Wu men are here. They were to rescue the princess."

"Were they useful?"

"Your student claims one of them saved him and Zhong Hui."

"Then they get to stay alive. Names?"

"Sun Ce, Ling Tong, Gan Ning, and Lu Meng. I have accounted for the whereabouts of all but the first."

"So be it. I need to speak to Junyi."

"He's waiting for you." Another nod, and Yi left, tense and furious, seeking... Jia wasn't sure. Solace? Company? Too idealistic. More likely seeking his best minion. The scholar smiled grimly to himself. If that 'Grandmaster' thought that eliminating the Cao family would weaken Wei, he was dead wrong.

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"Junyi." Yi gripped the door frame for support.

"Master Zhongda. You look horrible." He glided over, worry etched on his pretty face.

"Do I? I assume the prince is worse off." Yi was dead tired, and accidently let that slip into his voice.

"He will be fine." He pulled him into the room gently and sat him down.

"Junyi..." Yi slumped forward, resting his forehead on his friend's shoulder.

"I promise. He will be fine, we will find the fool responsible for this, and he will be punished." He wrapped his arms around the younger man. There was, he thought, nothing else he could do but promise things he couldn't know would come true.

Yi let the words wash over him, safe, for a moment, in his friend's arms. Empty promises were sometimes comfort enough.

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The next morning was abnormally cold. Zhang He shivered as he walked down the hall leading to his room. The flowers that had been blooming in the gardens had wilted and lost their color. The castle still reeked of dead things. Nobles were already wearing mourning white. Dead insects littered the garden paths. A usually strong young man had fallen asleep in He's room and had yet to wake up.

It would have been a cute image. Yi lay curled up and wrapped in blankets on a pile of pillows and cushions. His cloak, hat, and shoes were neatly arranged a few feet away from him. His black hair fanned out behind his head. His eyes were shut, and his face was devoid of its usual tension.

"Master Zhongda. It's morning now..." He shook him slightly. Dark lashes fluttered. Lips parted gently. In that half-awake state, he seemed almost innocent. He would have felt better had he not seen him suffer.

"... Junyi ...? Wha...?" Yi shook his head to clear it and pulled himself to his feet. "... _How_ 'morning' is it, exactly?"

"Most of the castle is awake."

"... Wonderful." Silence for a second. "Thank you for... letting me stay here..."

"Anytime. You know I'm here for you."

"Yes. That's why I came to you." Admitting something like that flat out was proof that Yi was still not fully awake. With a sigh, he grabbed his hat and slipped on his shoes. "I should go. We can't run a kingdom by being sappy." And that was that.

"I love you." Too quiet, and too late. The door had already swung shut, trapping his confession in an empty room. He sighed. Good to know somethings always stayed the same.

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Shang was quite surprised to be escorted back out of the dungeons, with Ning, by several Wei soldiers. She soon found out the reasoning behind this. Everyone in the castle was assembled in the throne room, pale-faced and worried, while Sima Yi paced back and forth in front of the throne. He noticed Shang and nodded vaguely in her direction.

"Now that everyone is here, I feel that it is time to be honest. I doubt anyone is idiotic enough not to have realized that we are under attack. To fill in what you don't know: our enemy is the Grandmaster Black Crane, also known as Zuo Ci. The... Prince Cao Ang Zixiu is one of his minions. Black Crane was the one who poisoned Lord Cao Cao and now attacked his son, our crown prince. Everyone must... I need everyone to stay on the alert and be prepared for the worst. This is-" He was cut off.

"What's it to us, huh? If some crazy guys kills off all of you, that's good for us!" Nice, Ning. Yi's gaze turned toward them. Shang wished she could turn invisible right then.

"If he succeeds at destroying _us_, you fool, what would stop him from destroying _you_? If we stop him here, the best man may win the imperial crown. If we do not, the winner will be whomever he chooses._ Are you too much of an imbecile to see that_?" Yi took a deep breath. "So, _please_ cooperate. Because I am not letting any of you go free form here before Black Crane is dead."

"Uh... How do you plan to do that? Kill him, I mean," Shang cut in, "He doesn't exactly hang around."

"He will," Yi said grimly, "He will have have to, after all. We aren't falling apart as per his plan." That made sense. The rest of his speech was made of up inspiring words and a lot of dramatic gestures, but Shang could tell the honesty was past.

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"Princess."

"I told you to call me Shang."

"That was before you ran away."

"I didn't want to! Xingba just... Look I'm sorry okay? I want to... I want..."

"... That doesn't matter now, does it?"

"It _does_!" She was choking on tears.

"Princess, calm yourself."

"Stop being so goddamn formal!"

"You're already hysterical. That's emotion enough for the both of us."

"I'm not hysterical! You just don't get it!"

"I 'get' more than you may think. Pull yourself together, _then_ we can start having a rational conversation."

"Just shut the hell up!" Certainly not pulling herself together.

"I see... I shall leave, then."

"No!" She had grabbed his sleeve and fallen to her knees. "Please... Don't go..." He turned to help her back to her feet, and she gazed up at him through tearful eyes.

"Princess. You need to control yourself." Clearly those instructions had fallen on deaf ears, as her only response was to kiss him hard enough to back him into a wall. Self control wasn't a virtue in Wu.

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In Wei, one had to get used to walking in on strange situations. They tended to be a fact of life. Deng Ai was smart enough to have realized this on his very first day. However, nothing could have fully prepared him for the idea that one day he would have to walk in on his idol involved in one of these strange things. Ok, so clothes were still on, and were it anyone else in the castle it would hardly count as strange, but... Ai filed the factoid that the great Sima Yi had emotions into his mental database. This could be important in due time.

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Pressed flat against the wall and peering through the slightly open door at Sima Yi and Sun Shang Xiang, Cao Wuxing cut a ridiculous figure. It didn't matter though. What she was seeing was worth it. If only she could preserve that image on paper for all to see, she would be famous. As it were, she committed it to memory before slipping away, a hand still clasped against her mouth to muffle her breathing. Every once in a great while, gold was found in an abandoned quarry, and that gold caused twice the uproar. It was the same with rumors. This was Wuxing's gold: not only had the Wu princess kissed him, oh no, _he hadn't pulled away_.

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	27. Chapter 27

(A/N: ... Hi. So, uh, I know I disappear for months at a time, and I'm really sorry. Have some plot. There is actual plot, I mean, not like the "slash warning" in the previous chapter, btw.

NOTE THE SECOND: I do believe in HTML, I do! And now it's fixed. Sorry!)

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A great many rooms in the castle in Wei's capital had windows with views of the beautiful courtyard gardens that had been designed some hundred years prior. The issue with that, however, was that windows work both ways.

It wasn't as though Zhang He hadn't used this to his advantage before, of course, and it wasn't like he hadn't used that information to break hearts and deliver the shredded remains to the man who was currently _hooking up with a Wu girl he claimed he didn't like_. And right after being so kind, too. He wanted to cry, or yell, or break through the window and break her neck and his neck, or run away to somewhere where he would be appreciated, or do at least _something_, but he was rooted to the spot, tears welling but not falling, fury boiling but not erupting, as a cold wind picked up behind him.

_"Treacherous little snake, is he not?"_ Words on the wind? Warrior insticts took over, and He readied himself to strike out at the speaker. Suddenly, something dropped to the ground just by his foot.

"A pendant without string?" he murmered, glancing at it. The thing was covered in ash anyway, its design obscured. He fought the urge to pick it up; if someone had tried to burn it, he reasoned, it was unlikely to be a beautiful thing. Out of the corner of his eye, He could see the shadows of the garden change a little. _Someone_ was there. And the shadow wasn't zombie-shaped.

_"You should not have trusted him... You knew he was going to break your heart..."_

"Die!!" Clearly, that was a perfectly graceful response to someone mocking him. He didn't have his claws, but years of experience taught him to carry at least three knives at all times. Today he had five. He had grabbed two and cut through the area where his enemy was supposed to be and-- cut air. A flicker of silk vanished somewhere to his left, and he lunged that way with a cry of rage. Miss. Again, this time faster, driven by pent up emotions. Miss. Miss. Miss again. Suddenly, He pirouetted quickly enough to drive one blade into his attacker's shoulder. "Gotcha, bitch," he growled, glowering at the old man. Even had his mind been totally clear, he would not have been able to dodge the blast of white light that sent him toppling gracelessly against the wall with a crash loud enough to to alert the castle's occupants. The response, however was instantanious. The beat of heavy footsteps, intermixed with the slamming open of doors and the clang of weapons being drawn heralded the arrival of a dozen guards and probably a few excitable generals.

"Hey, what's goin' on out there?" Despite heartbreak, all-around pain, and the fact that he was too dizzy to see straight, He grinned. The men of Wei looked out for their own.

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The Grandmaster's dramatic escape in a cloud of smoke was foiled five different ways. Firstly, he had a knife in his shoulder, and immortal or not it was difficult to perform specific hand gestures with all the nerves in your arm screaming in protest. Secondly, said hand gestures were difficult to perform while one was fwooshing around in a circle avoiding angry soldiers with spears. Thirdly, someone was shooting at him, which did not help matters. Fourthly, more very angry people who had already annihilated his zombie horde were coming. And, fifthly, he found out, after tangling up his attackers, freezing the arrows, healing his arm, and activating his spell just before anyone else showed up, there were some very powerful and not exactly legal wards up around the castle keeping him in. So, being a man of wisdom and virtue, the Grandmaster chose the next best solution.

_"Burn..."_

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Flames spread over the whole courtyard in seconds, rising, flaring, burning brighter than fire should ever be allowed to and bending into almost human shapes to attack the castle's defenders. Of course, at this point, almost everyone capable of wielding a weapon had run to the courtyard to help. Were the Grandmaster human, he would have been defeated in moments. As it were, he was instead putting up a very good fight, immobilizing his opponents and trapping them in gleaming spheres of some impenetrable magical substance. He was waiting for the perfect opportunity...

"_My traps are fireproof, you blasted imbecile!_" If there was one thing the Grandmaster hadn't expected, it was for the ground to open up and _eat his fire attac_k.

"You are quite stubborn, child..." drawled the Grandmaster, fixing his strange white eyes on the strategist, "Too stubborn..." A flash of white light illuminated the garden.

"Princess!" Too late. She was already trapped in another bubble, rising high above the battle to come to rest just alongside the one entrapping Zhang He, who had regained enough strength to be struggling to break free. The time it took Yi to see was time enough for him to be caught off guard. He couldn't have dodged in time--

"What in the name of the Path of Heaven?" For a split second, the air had changed. The spell had flickered out at the Grandmaster's fingertips. The fires died out. Many of the weaker spheres, blinked out of existence, leaving the wounded lying on ashy ground. Yi smirked despite himself. _Deus ex Fengxiao_.

"Perhaps Heaven..." one truly had to pronounce the capital letter, after all, "Perhaps Heaven does not wish me to be killed." Boldfaced lie, but at least it could buy him time enough to think of a way to win this. To Yi's considerable shock, the old man actually paused to examine the situation himself.

"... Perhaps that is so, child. You may yet be of use to us... So be it. I shall spare you and one other whom I have captured," It would take far too much time to redo all of the capturing spells.

"You are dangling two captives over me." Yi gestured toward the bubbles. Stating the blatantly obvious, sure, but he had to say _something_ while planning his next move.

"Save the one you love most. Surely for one as clever as you it cannot be a challenge." The old man's voice lacked any change in intonation. Yi froze. The old man locked eyes with him. Yi knew that one could hear the gears turning in his head. "There is no other way to save either of them. You know it." Yi's eyes darted around the courtyard. No escape. No backup. He hung his head. _Just a little longer_.

"... I understand."

"Make your choice, child. Name the one you will save, and leave the other as sacrifice."

"Cruel words, Grandmaster... But you are right. There is one I would sacrifice everything for," he murmured with a sigh, "Only one whom I love above all other. But I must ask this of you: you will not hurt her ever again."

"I am a kind man, so I will swear it. I will never hurt her. I even swear that my magic will never affect her."

"And her descendants?"

"The same. I shall never harm them."

"No matter where they are."

"No matter where they are. I will heal her to her full strength, even, child, if than means a victory for the path of virtue. I swear this in the Teacher's name." The Grandmaster's tone hadn't changed, and he watched his opponent evenly. The choice had already been made, the damage had already be done.

"Then so be it." Yi gazed tiredly up at the two captives. The Grandmaster smiled. "There is only one choice I can make."


End file.
